Vegetius in the Bush
By Dr. Jane Geertz

Greetings my budding students of Kaijuology! I am here to divulge some detailed information about the newest Kaiju Rogue, Vegetius. I recently had a run in with this wild beast in the jungles of a remote South Pacific Island. I think you will find my observations will prove relevant if Vegetius ever steps into the Danger Cage again.

Early in 2004, I got word from my contact Johavo that some strange things were happening on a small island in the South Pacific, so I left my research to investigate the rumors. The gossip in every circle of the island was that the openings to a vast tunnel system were found within the rain forest. These openings were difficult to get to due to the dense jungle and the destruction that seemed to surround the openings. It was my hunch that Vegetius produced these cavernous tunnels as he searched for food. Therefore, I made preparations to journey into the rainforest in order to catch a glimpse of the magnificent Vegetius in his natural habitat.

The next day Johavo and I hiked through the jungle for 5 hours without a trace of the Kaiju creature. We were hot, tired, and discouraged, which prevented us from hearing the faint rumbling in the distance. I began to fall behind, lost in thought, while Johavo pushed ahead hacking away at the underbrush with a machete. When he began to yell for me to look out, my first reaction was that he might have seen a monkey! (As a scientist I respect all living things, but I hate monkeys, I hate 'em... they seem so cute, but they are actually sneaky and mean. I had a horrible experience in Gibraltar that I don't care to relive here.)

As it turns out, Johavo had not found a monkey; he had come to a clearing full of debris that had a huge hole in the middle of it. I had done it! I had found Vegetius' tunnels and I knew he would be nearby. My hypothesis was confirmed as the rumbling suddenly grew louder and the ground began to shake violently. A pointy-head followed by an enormous shell emerged from the ground. Nearby trees creaked and teetered until they snapped and crashed to the ground. Johavo and I ran for cover as Vegetius waddled over to the fallen trees and began to feast on their roots.

I took out my notes and furiously began to scribble every detail of the Kaiju I could find. Vegetius used his sharp red mouth to chew up the roots, which supplied him with vitamins, minerals, stored water and fiber. His eyes were vibrantly green and his gigantic shell appeared to be several feet thick. He most notably had a large red jewel on the back of his shell. As I recorded this, Johavo pointed out two more jewels on his sides, right by his red hands. This creature fascinated me so much that I decided I had to get a closer look.

As I crept toward Vegetius, noting the strange design on his cone-like-forehead, the most horrible thing happened. I am still traumatized from the following events, and have difficulty recounting them. You see, a large male monkey swooped down from a tree and snatched my notes! A monkey. Why did it have to be a monkey? Needless to say, I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran to save myself from that foul beast. Unfortunately, my scream also disturbed Vegetius.

The Kaiju rose from his dinner and stomped his way toward me. His eyes were now a fiery red with anger. He let out a loud noise that I can only describe as a, "WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAQK!" He began to jump up and down, flailing his arms and hitting the jewels on his sides. By doing this he seemed to gain more energy and power. This was clearly one grumpy Kaiju, and I feared for my life as I ran back toward our trail. As I ran I saw Johavo gathering rocks and hurling them at Vegetius to fend him off. This was doing nothing to the well-protected Kaiju until one particularly well-thrown rock nailed the large red jewel on his back.

Vegetius stumbled with this single blow, so Johavo pelted Vegetius' jewel with as many rocks as he could find. I ran as fast as I could, but Vegetius was too close and began to lower his head to stab me with his sharp head. I screamed for help, as Johavo's last rock hit Vegetius again and the Kaiju stumbled to the ground, apparently without enough energy to move. I was amazed that Vegetius had lost power and had been taken down simply by hitting the jewel on his back. This weakness in his armor had allowed me to escape. Johavo and I ran back down our path through the jungle to safety.

That wretched monkey got away with my notes, but I escaped with my life and the first hand experience of a new wild Kaiju. Hopefully the details of this adventure will help protect other Kaiju from the wrath of this wild beast.

Thank you,
Dr. Jane Geertz