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On
June 9th 2001 New York was introduced to
Kaiju Big Battel, the world's only live
monster wrestling spectacle. Although the
sold-out crowd was eager to experience the
spectacle, few were ready to handle the
intensity of the Kaiju Big Battel. The crowd's
nervous anticipation, the smoke of 6000
Lucky Strike Lights and the sweltering heat
of a packed house and camera flash set the
tone for a fierce Battel. And after waiting
two hours for the Battel to begin, the downtown
crowd was thrown into a Kaiju powder keg
as Dino Kang Jr. entered the ballroom.
Dino
Kang Jr. kicked off the Kaiju assault by
spinning the hot hits of Herbie Hancock
and The Playerz Club on the dance floor.
The crowd, while enjoying the green lizard's
mixes, were shocked to witness a break-off
erupt between a pair of Cube Minions and
Pedro Plantain. Anger mounted
as the Plantain began to steal the show
with middle finger freezes and stem spins.
A small scuffle broke out in the crowd and
quickly escalated into a full-scale Battel!
Still, Pedro took control of the floor and
threw the Minions through Dino Kang's DJ
table! Kang Jr. was not upset about the
loss of his table, which were rumored to
have cost him a whopping $5000.00. Dino
happily danced with the cheering crowd and
chanted, "Bling, Billion Dollar Bling. I
am the Dino King!"
After
the dance floor Battel, the fighting moved
inside the Kaiju steel cage. The first official
Battel of the evening was a triple threat
match between American Beetle, Pablo Plantain
and MungWun, The Thai Fly. Pablo held off
the Mung Wun with a series of vicious kicks
and arm-locks,
while American Beetle utilized his veteran
ring skills to deliver body slam after body
slam. American Beetle quickly unleashed
his senator-like hand speed and took control
of the Battel early on. After some high-flying
moves, Pablo KO'd Beetle with devastating
kicks to the antenna and thorax. The Thai
Fly who regained consciousness, was further
humiliated by Pedro who dove off the top
of the cage in a too-dangerous-for-a-banana
moonsault.
The
final Battel of the evening was the second
consecutive meeting of Uchu Chu and Dr.
Cube. Uchu Chu was in attendance to defend
the Kaiju Big Battel Belt but Dr. Cube had
other plans for the renegade bug. Dr. Cube
used the opportunity to show the world that
Uchu Chu wasn't worthy of the Kaiju
Championship Belt. Cube defeated Uchu Chu
in record time. The quick and painful match
raised questions about the green
bug's place in the Big Battel. A month earlier
at the Northeastern caged catastrophe Dr.
Cube destroyed Uchu Chu and ripped up his
contract. Furthermore, insiders and rumor
site journalists have spread questionable
information regarding Uchu Chu's employment
with Kaiju, claiming he has taken a minimum
wage night shift at a McDonalds in Boston's
Downtown Crossing area.
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