Kaiju Big Battel
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Broadway Brawl
On June 9th 2001 New York was introduced to Kaiju Big Battel, the world's only live monster wrestling spectacle. Although the sold-out crowd was eager to experience the spectacle, few were ready to handle the intensity of the Kaiju Big Battel. The crowd's nervous anticipation, the smoke of 6000 Lucky Strike Lights and the sweltering heat of a packed house and camera flash set the tone for a fierce Battel. And after waiting two hours for the Battel to begin, the downtown crowd was thrown into a Kaiju powder keg as Dino Kang Jr. entered the ballroom.

Dino Kang Jr. kicked off the Kaiju assault by spinning the hot hits of Herbie Hancock and The Playerz Club on the dance floor. The crowd, while enjoying the green lizard's mixes, were shocked to witness a break-off erupt between a pair of Cube Minions and Pedro Plantain. Anger mounted as the Plantain began to steal the show with middle finger freezes and stem spins. A small scuffle broke out in the crowd and quickly escalated into a full-scale Battel! Still, Pedro took control of the floor and threw the Minions through Dino Kang's DJ table! Kang Jr. was not upset about the loss of his table, which were rumored to have cost him a whopping $5000.00. Dino happily danced with the cheering crowd and chanted, "Bling, Billion Dollar Bling. I am the Dino King!"

After the dance floor Battel, the fighting moved inside the Kaiju steel cage. The first official Battel of the evening was a triple threat match between American Beetle, Pablo Plantain and MungWun, The Thai Fly. Pablo held off the Mung Wun with a series of vicious kicks and arm-locks, while American Beetle utilized his veteran ring skills to deliver body slam after body slam. American Beetle quickly unleashed his senator-like hand speed and took control of the Battel early on. After some high-flying moves, Pablo KO'd Beetle with devastating kicks to the antenna and thorax. The Thai Fly who regained consciousness, was further humiliated by Pedro who dove off the top of the cage in a too-dangerous-for-a-banana moonsault.

The final Battel of the evening was the second consecutive meeting of Uchu Chu and Dr. Cube. Uchu Chu was in attendance to defend the Kaiju Big Battel Belt but Dr. Cube had other plans for the renegade bug. Dr. Cube used the opportunity to show the world that Uchu Chu wasn't worthy of the Kaiju Championship Belt. Cube defeated Uchu Chu in record time. The quick and painful match raised questions about the green bug's place in the Big Battel. A month earlier at the Northeastern caged catastrophe Dr. Cube destroyed Uchu Chu and ripped up his contract. Furthermore, insiders and rumor site journalists have spread questionable information regarding Uchu Chu's employment with Kaiju, claiming he has taken a minimum wage night shift at a McDonalds in Boston's Downtown Crossing area.

 

 

 


 

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