Next Battel Announced
As his final act before turning over his keys to RoBox, the Kaiju Commissioner is proud to announce that the first full-scale Kaiju Big Battel of 2016 will take place at LaBoom on Sunday, January 10, at 3 pm in NYC. Although the exact lineup has yet to be confirmed, the following Kaiju fighters are expected to participate: Dr. Cube, Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle, Call-Me-Kevin, Erubus, Los Plantanos, The Apes of Wraths, Powa Ranjuru, Silver Potato, and more! Stay tuned to kaiju.com for exact fightos.
For tickets Scroll down and look to the right.
PS We will be in Dallas, TX in April
Kaiju Commissioner Set to Retire, Replacement Named
NASHUA, NH - Sir "Woolly" Mammoth, the Kaiju Commissioner and the only former Kaiju Hero to hold the job, announced Wednesday that he is retiring from his position.
Mammoth, in an email mistakenly sent to the Yardley Potato Growers Association he titled, "An Affectionate Farewell," didn't mention a specific reason for stepping down, but his message stressed how stressful his time with Kaiju Big Battel was.
"For the past 18 years, I have had the great fortune of being part of the Big Battel" Mammoth said, in the email. "First as a fighter and then as a lover of spectacle, for all those years I have loved my job. I can honestly say that every minute I have spent with the Kaiju Regulatory Commission has been an honor and a privilege. The fans have been jolly good.
"I always hoped that when I retired from the Commissionership, I would be able to leave with the KRC in great shape and I am proud to say that it is, except for this Cube ballyhoo. We have such magnificent heros, tons of talent, amazing senior leadership and some of the finest heros I have ever met. I will miss bossing around the interns and I will especially miss the girls.
"As sad as I am to say goodbye, I am excited for the KRC to get a new Commissioner, a new outlook and a fresh start. I can't wait to watch the battels on VOD in the comfort of my living room and cheer on the likes of Silver Potato and American Beetle. I am and will always be a Commissioner at heart. If the team ever needs to know why the grease on the turn buckles smells of chocolate or why they need "Clear spirits and full glasses", I will always be available."
KRC board director Sally Rabbit thanked Mammoth for his time as the Commissioner.
"Commissioner Mammoth has done an excellent job of promoting and developing interesting ways to keep the public entertained," Rabbit said. "I would like to personally thank Commissioner Mammoth for all of the time and effort he has given over the years and wish him the very best."
She went on to explain "He will temporarily be replaced by RoBox till we can find a suitable candidate for the job"
Mammoth, who also teaches fifth grade at Halibut Middle School in Nashua, NH, was the European Division Champion in 1995 and 2003 to 2008. He became Kaiju Commissioner in 2010.
Question of the week?
Does any one have this poster?
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A Champion is Born
On Saturday evening, November 21 in Somerville, MA, inside Once, for a few moments dinner and drinks went largely unnoticed as visitors had all eyes focused on a different, lesser-known type of Championship Belt, the newly inaugurated Arm Wrestling Championship Belt.
Dusto Bunny stepped up to the table. Around 300+ spectators pressed their bodies closer to the Kaiju Big Ring, craning their necks around a group of photographers.
Dusto Bunny, a wrinkly-faced 100 year-old rabbit of dust, remained calm and serene, his bicep and elbow steady on the table. He threaded his fingers into those of his opponent, Hell Monkey, as if this were just another practice in the hero training dojo. Speaking to his opponent "What is more yielding than water? Yet, back it comes again, wearing down the ridged strength, which cannot stand to its strength. What is more forceful than quite water?"
That was, of course, until Referee "You call that a knife" Dundee uttered the magic words: "Ready ... Fighto!"
The air pressure shifted slightly. Dusto Bunny was all grace, effortlessly pulling with everything he had. Hell Monkey grunted just like a pig.
Dusto Bunny furrowed his brow and puffed out some dust. Then, swiftly and with what seemed like the force of the universe, he guided Hell Monkey's arm straight thru the table. Bam! The Championship belt was his.
"It was a satisfactory win," said Dusto Bunny, but the night wasn't over. Monger Kingu, rated as the greatest arm wrestler in the Big Battel stormed the ring. He was upset that he was not chosen to take part in the first ever Arm Wrestling Championship Match.
After wrecking havoc in the ring he attempted to take the belt from Dusto by force with the help of Hell Monkey. It was all for not tho as Dusto put them both in their place and showed the audience what makes a true champion
"The game is so techniquey - To me it’s a game of angles and geometry, mind over body... a lot like chutes and ladders., you can beat a 800-pound gorilla because you know how to,” Dusto said confidently after the fights’ end, "You keep him mentally off balance he lose his power, and you win. The mind is mightier that the muscle"