Battel Commentary.

The official Tinsel Town Showdown Battel Commentary has now been posted. Read all about the Battel that put the Kaiju Championship Belt around Dr. Cube's waist, and left the Kaiju Heroes beaten, demoralized, and without their greatest champion, Silver Potato. Plus, there's full-color photos from ace photographer Brian McCarty, that will dazzle and enthrall.

Big Battel Thanks.

The Kaiju Commissioner would like to thank all of the Tinsel Town Showdown sponsors - BWR, Brandwashed, Capitol Records, Doghouse Records, Evil Design, Fenway Recordings, Go Hero, Rockstar Games, Tarantulas Records, TVT Records, Vagrant Records, Filter Magazine, and Indie 103.1. Special thanks to Rock-It! Cargo for hosting the Big Battel Express, and to Darker My Love for rocking the house. Super Big Battel thanks to Todd Kasten and the staff at the Avalon Hollywood!

LA-LA Land Press.

If the sheer quantity of press generated by Tinsel Town Showdown is any measure, Kaiju Big Battel's first foray to the west coast caught the eye of many media folks. Some of the most noteworthy coverage included an online article at Wired, national coverage on NPR (listen here), a G4 Tech TV report, and a feature in the Los Angeles Times. As always seems to be the case, most of the media outlets downplayed the real life Dangers of giant city-crushing monsters, attributing the mayhem of Tinsel Town Showdown to fake wrestlers, or silly art students. Perhaps it will take a news organization with more gravitas to get the Kaiju facts straight. 60 Minutes, perhaps?

Kaiju Film Festival.

Always a supporter of the arts, the Kaiju Commissioner has arranged for a full episode of The Neo Teppen Show, to be screened as part of this fall's Gadabout Traveling Film Festival. This touring collection of independent film and video is currently making its way through the Southwest and is a great spot to catch Neo Teppen taking on Dr. Cube. Visit the Gaddabout site for more tour dates and more information.

If you can't make the Film Fest, don't fret! There's a sneak preview of The Neo Teppen Show, on the limited edition Kaiju Big Battel "Official Bootleg" promo DVD. Get your copy now for FREE, with any purchase of $15 or more (not including shipping) in the Kaiju Mall.

Question of the Week:

What was the Kaiju Web Wrangler doing these last 3 weeks, anyway?

Kaiju Big Battel News Flash 9/9/04

Kaiju LA Invasion Hours Away!

Only a few hours remain until Kaiju Big Battel: Tinsel Town Showdown, and LA is besieged by Kaiju monsters: Hell Monkey has climbed the Hollywood sign; Call-Me-Kevin and Unibouzu are posing for tourists outside of Grauman's Chinese Theatre; and Dr. Cube has taken over a plastic surgery practice in the Valley to make some last minute tweaks to his newest monster, SMX-001 aka Craw.

If you haven't gotten tickets yet don't worry - tickets are still available at ticketmaster.com, or at any Ticketmaster outlet. In addition, the Kaiju Commissioner has arranged for a limited number of tickets to be available at the door. But get there early: doors are at 7:30 and you don't want to miss the beginning of the first ever West Coast Big Battel!

Filter Magazine Presents
Kaiju Big Battel: Tinsel Town Showdown
Who: Kaiju Big Battel with musical guest Darker My Love
Where: Avalon Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA
When: September 8, 2004. 7:30 p.m.
Tickets: All Ages. Tickets available at all ticket master outlets, including Tower Records, Robinson's-May, Wherehouse Music, and Ritmo Latino locations, or online at ticketmaster.com. Charge by phone at 213.480.3232. Tickets also available at Avalon the door, but get there early to avoid the line

Schedule of Events

Musical prelude by Darker My Love
Special Short Video Feature, "What Is Kaiju?"

Battel 1: Eternal Justice of the Equatic Kind
Neo Teppen VS Call-Me-Kevin

Battel 2: Mystery Hero Debut Battel
Gomi-man VS ???

Musical Tribute to Silver Potato starring J-Pop Superstar Chikako

Battel 3: Fruit and Fauna Battel
Los Plantanos VS The Grudyin & SDS-1

Battel 4: Kaiju Championship Belt Battel
Hell Monkey VS Unibouzu

See below for detailed Battel descriptions.

Question of the Week:

Who, or what, will be making a surprise Big Battel appearance at Tinsel Town Showdown?

Tickets Still Available!

Tickets are still available for next week's Kaiju Big Battel: Tinsel Town Showdown on September 8th at the Avalon Hollywood. This is Kaiju Big Battel's only scheduled West Coast appearance in 2004, so make the trip to LA to see Hell Monkey, Unibouzu, Los Plantanos, and all your favorite Kaiju in action! Tickets are available for Tinsel Town Showdown at ticketmaster.com, or at any Ticketmaster outlet..

New Battel Video - Dusto VS Cube!

Dr. Cube has always managed to maintain a certain level of popularity, despite his unquenchable lust for power, his penchant for turning his supporters into mindless, drooling zombie Minions, and his general disdain for both babies and puppies. According to the Kaiju Commissioner, if Cube's deluded fans knew about his vile experiments and his underhanded Big Battel tactics, they would abandon their support of the 3-dimensional doctor. With this in mind, the Commissioner has ordered the online video release of a never before seen Battel between Dusto Bunny and Dr. Cube from Brooklyn Double Danger. Watch the Dusto VS Dr. Cube video, and witness as Dr. Cube employs trickery, outside interference, and a violation of the Geneva Convention's rules for surrender. Then think twice about giving Cube's Posse your support in Hollywood.

New Hero is Super Awesome!

There's a new Hero coming to California, and the Kaiju Commissioner promises he will change the face of Kaiju Big Battel forever. While this new Hero's identity has not been revealed, the Commissioner has promised the Kaiju fans at Avalon next week will witness the entrance of a new Hero that will never be forgotten. When pressed for details, the Commissioner replied, "Did I mention that he's new? And awesome?"

Ask the Commissioner - Tinsel Town Showdown Edition.

The Kaiju Commissioner has received an unprecedented number of inquiries about Tinsel Town Showdown, so in the interest of answering all the pertinent questions, the Commissioner will forgo his usual personal responses this week.

Dear Kaiju Fans,

I'm excited that so many of you are excited about Kaiju Big Battel: Tinsel Town Showdown. It's a virtual excitement explosion! I thank all of you for your questions. Here are your answers:

Q. Is this suitable for children to attend?
A. Kaiju Big Battel is a PG show, and is often attended by young fans, along with their parents of course. The biggest concern for a parent would be the level of violence, which is tamer than that of a typical wrestling TV program, except with giant city-crushing monsters.

Q. When are doors?
A. 7:30pm

Q. How long will this show last?
A. As giant monsters are unpredictable creatures, the exact end time for the Big Battel is not known, but you can expect the Battel to end at approximately 10pm.

Q. Are you coming to Seattle, San Francisco, San Diego, Las Vegas, etc.?
A. At this point there are no plans for Kaiju Big Battels anywhere else on the West Coast. Someday a Big Battel may trample your fine city, but for now your best bet is a road trip to Los Angeles on September 8th.

Thank you again for all your questions, and I look forward to seeing you all at the Avalon Hollywood!

Your Friend,
The Kaiju Commissioner

Do you have a question for the Kaiju Commissioner? Email it to commissioner@kaiju.com.

Sea Amigos United!

Two of the Sea Amigos (Unibouzu and Call-Me-Kevin) have big matches lined up for Tinsel Town Showdown. Kevin will be a taking on the no-nonsense astronaut-turned-Hero. Neo Teppen, while Unibouzu is the challenger in the main event Battel for the Kaiju Championship Belt. With these big matchups planned, the two undersea agitators have reportedly attempted to lure fellow ocean-dweller D.W. Cycloptopuss III out of semi-retirement, to come to Los Angeles and watch their backs with his one giant eye.

Kaiju Mall Alert!

With the Kaiju Field Mall heading out to Hollywood for Tinsel Town Showdown, it's a good bet that the T-shirt or other item in the Kaiju Mall that you've been eying might be sold out by this time next week. So make sure to place your order before Tuesday to ensure that your desired item hasn't been snatched up by some lucky California fan.

Also don't forget about the ongoing special offer in the Kaiju Mall: Place an order of $20 or more in the Kaiju Mall and you will receive for free, a limited-edition "Official Bootleg" promo DVD, featuring a full sneak preview of the short feature, What Is Kaiju? plus trailers and other previews from the upcoming DVD, The Shocking Truth.

Dr. Cube Praises Big Battel Lineup.

Dr. Cube has issued a public response to the Kaiju Commissioner's Big Battel Lineup, and for once, the biggest evil and the greatest good in the Big Battel are seeing eye-to-eye,

"I couldn't be any happier with the boob-headed Commissioner's Big Battel lineup. He has chosen pathetic opponents for my Posse, and I scoff at the notion that any of them will pose even the mildest threat. Gomi-man's opponent is too scared to show his face, I've taken measures to make sure The Grudyin will have plenty ofhelp as he peels the Plantains, and Unibouzu (from the Latin, "bouzu" meaning "Bozo" and "Uni" meaning "One Big") will be roasted from head to toe by Hell Monkey's fiery breath. Anyone for grilled urchin?!"

Tinsel Town Showdown Schedule of Events

Musical prelude by Darker My Love
Special Short Video Feature, What Is Kaiju?

Battel 1: Eternal Justice of the Aquatic Kind
Neo Teppen VS Call-Me-Kevin
Kaiju Evildoers beware! Neo Teppen has arrived. A mysterious Martian force turned Teppen into a secret-powered fighting machine and he has put all the Kaiju Rogues on notice: malevolent behavior will no longer be tolerated! First up on Teppen's hit list is the perennial sea loser Call-Me-Kevin. Kevin recently sank two tankers for no reason other than his own amusement, and this delinquent act caught Teppen's eye. Now Teppen promises that the spiky sea creature will learn the true meaning of justice. Be afraid!

Battel 2: Mystery Hero Debut Battel
Gomi-man VS ???
Is Kaiju ready for a new super Hero? Brace yourself: the Kaiju Commissioner has promised that the newest defender of humanity will deliver a makeover to the surly face of Kaiju Big Battel. But the new Hero's emergence is shrouded in a cloak of anonymity. Only the Commissioner knows the true identity of this mysterious new champion and he's not revealing anything. Will Gomi-man be able to stop this new Heroic juggernaut? Or will he just take his lumps like a (Gomi-)man? Put your hands together for the newest Kaiju Hero!

Musical Tribute to Silver Potato starring J-Pop Superstar Chikako
Sing songs of Potato praise! Or better yet, let J-pop superstar Chikako do the singing for you. Last time Chikako performed a tribute to Silver Potato, Dr. Cube's Posse bumrushed the ball, leaving a wheelchair-bound Potato mashed. But the breakdancin' b-boy has since been scraped off the Danger Cage canvas. And now Chikako's prepared to give the tribute one more try! To guard against any interference from Cube and the Posse, Los Plantanos will be the bouncers at this concert. It could be a food fight!

Battel 3: Fruit and Fauna Battel
Los Plantanos VS SDS-1 & The Grudyin
It's double-duty for the Plantain Twins. Not only will the florid freedom fighters be providing security for the Musical Tribute to Silver Potato, but they're also taking on the two of the nastiest members of Dr. Cube's Posse. Dr. Cube was sick of the shark-ape-thing known as The Grudyin constantly losing, so he's added SDS-1 to aid him in the defeat of Los Plantanos, the greatest tandem to ever tangle in Kaiju Big Battel!

Battel 4: Kaiju Championship Belt
Hell Monkey VS Unibouzu
When fire meets water, will Hell Monkey boil Unibouzu's blood? Or will the prickly sea beast extinguish the satanic simian's flame? At Brooklyn Double Danger, Unibouzu stole Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle's spot in the Championship Battel. Thanks to Dr. Cube's henchmen, Hell Monkey was able to hold on to the belt, but not before Uni put a scare into the demonic ape. Tonight, Unibouzu gets a chance to avenge the loss. But will possible interference by Cube's Posse, or perhaps one disgruntled Soup can, prove more than Uni can handle?

Question of the Week:

When will the Kaiju Express roll into Los Angeles?