Dear Kaiju Fans,
Earlier this week Dr. Cube stole the kaiju.com homepage and threatened to destroy it by noon Friday, unless we met his ransom demands. Several governments, philanthropists, and private donors offered to meet Cube's demands, including $38,902,021.61 in pocket change, 2 pairs of Napalean-sized UGGs, and a full apology from Los Plantanos for embarrassing The Grudyin and SMX-001 at Tinsel Town Showdown. However, Kaiju Big Battel has a strict "no negotiation" policy when it comes to kidnappers, terrorists, and evil mad scientists, so I refused their generosity and insisted that Cube return the homepage in one piece.
){kind=link}
Sadly, Dr. Cube made good on his threat and, shortly after noon today, the remains of the kaiju.com homepage were found in an alley behind cnn.com. I'll refrain from being too graphic, but it appears as though the sadistic doctor stripped all the closing tags from the homepage's HTML markup, leaving nothing but a mess of non-validating, gobbledygook text.
While this tragedy has deeply wounded everyone at Kaiju Headquarters, I promise that we will turn this painful loss into an exciting opportunity. As we speak, my top web staff are hard at work creating a brand new kaiju.com homepage that will blow the doors off the old homepage (no disrespect intended). The new homepage will have 12% more Kaiju, 24% more Big, and a whopping 31% more Battel! Also, we'll probably install some sort of anti-theft device - the Club perhaps.
So, friends take this weekend to remember the old Kaiju homepage, but on Wednesday January 26th, put away your special black mourning mouse and keyboard, and come see the new face of kaiju.com.
Your Friend,
The Kaiju Commissioner