Back in Beantown!
Kaiju Big Battel will return to Boston, Massachusetts on Saturday night, May 10th! While the Kaiju Commissioner had planned on destroying only one New England city this spring, the success of Danger Strikes Back! has prompted another Boston Big Battel. It has been a long time since Kaiju rock 'n' rolled in Boston, so don't miss this return of the hometown Heroes.
New and Improved Boston Massacre
What: Kaiju Big Battel with special guests from CHIKARA PRO
Musical Guest: DJ Clashious Clay
Where: The Roxy, 279 Tremont Street, Boston, MA. 02116
When: Saturday, May 10th. 7:00 Doors. 8:00 Show.
Tickets: $20. Ticketmaster. This is an 18+ event.
More Battels Coming
What: Kaiju Big Battel with special guest Chris Hero
Musical Guest: Harry and the Potters and DJ Clashious Clay
Where: The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. Philadelphia, PA 19107
When: Sunday June 1st, Doors 3:00PM. 4:00PM Show.
Tickets: $19.50. Ticketmaster and the Trocadero Box Office. All Ages.
What: Kaiju Big Battel
Musical Guest: Ronald Regan and DJ Clashious Clay
Where: Webster Hall, 125 East 11th St. Manhattan, NY, 10003
When: Saturday, June 7th. 6:00PM Doors. 7:00PM Show.
Tickets: $25. Ticketmaster and the Mercury Lounge Box Office. This is a 16+ event.
Danger Strikes Back! Commentary
The Kaiju Commissioner would like to thank everyone that made Danger Strikes Back a success; the City of Providence, the Lupo's staff, the Kaiju Heroes, JA at Harmonix, Vinnie Arnone for the glow-in-the-dark show poster, and most of all the Kaiju fans that came from far and wide for this epic Battel.
Tadd Braddley: One Resilient Rooster
Tadd Braddley truly embodies what being a Kaiju Hero is all about. Even though he hasn't fully recovered from the injuries he suffered at the human hands of Chris Hero at NY Blackout, the Heroic hen put his body on the line to protect the Hero Intern '08 in his first fighto. "Totally bummed out" that he couldn't compete at Danger Strikes Back!, the surfin' bird decided to just hang out backstage and meet up with other Kaiju Heroes. But once Unibouzu and D.W. Cycloptopuss III double-teamed the HI08, Tadd had no choice but to clean house with his trusty surfboard, allowing Hero Intern '08 to score the upset win. The Hawaiian Paddler admits he inadvertently taught the rookie his first lesson - Kaiju Heroes will do whatever it takes to ensure justice prevails.
The Tides Have Turned
Ever since Call-Me-Kevin won the Kaiju Championship Belt, it seems as if the Sea Amigos' roles have been reversed. Unibouzu and Cycloptopuss have not won a single fighto while Kevin manages to successfully defend his title against all odds. However, the washouts claim they have found a new inspiration to set them back on track. Seeing their partner Call-Me-Kevin get demolished by the Iron Brothers turned out to be an eye-opening experience for the Sea Amigos. Therefore the underwater union has agreed to put petty differences aside and share in Call-Me-Kevin's success. In the meantime, the damp duo hopes to eventually capture the Double Danger Tandem Titles, but will focus on their friend's fortunes for now.
Close But No Cigar
Sun Buster took Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder to the absolute limit at Danger Strikes Back! The crafty combatant took advantage of the Black Box stipulation and used a plethora of plunder against the Colorado crusher. At one point, Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder was completely disabled when Buster doused his pilot light with a bucket of H2O, but still managed to flatten Sun Buster, who was trapped underneath the massive mountain. Now Sun Buster is petitioning to have his loss to Boulder removed from the Kaiju record books, since an official Kaiju official didn't count the pin. Sun Buster also warned that he would do everything in his power to prevent Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder from getting a shot at the Kaiju Championship Belt before him.
Kaiju Wants You
The Commissioner is proud to welcome our newest Studio Kaiju production assistants, Duncan and Adrien. Do you have what it takes to protect the world from giant city-crushing monsters this summer? Then the Kaiju Commissioner wants you! Video, web, and production Interns wanted now. Check out the Kaiju Jobs page for full descriptions.
Question of the Week
How can I get a Danger Strikes Back T-Shirt?
Dai Hachi Hachi and a drunken Yarsminko couldn't match the veteran teamwork of American Beetle and Neo Teppen at Danger Strikes Back! Dai Hachi Hachi berated his inebriated insect parter after the Battel, even going so far as to accuse Yarsminko of purposely throwing the fighto because he couldn't team with his best bud Uchu Chu. Yarsminko responded by telling Dai Hachi Hachi that Uchu Chu wouldn't have left in the first place if he hadn't interfered in the Double Danger Tandem Title match at New York Blackout. Yarsminko then crossed the line by accusing Dai Hachi Hachi of being a spy, working with Dr. Cube all along.
Yarsminko's intimations didn't sit well with the creepy creature, and he immediately attacked his now ex-partner. It took over ten minutes before the Kaiju Heroes were able to finally separate the two. In response to this unprofessional behavior, the Kaiju Commissioner has suspended both bugs for thirty days. Additionally, Team Space Bug must pay a fine of almost $30,000 to cover damage to Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel caused by their buggy scuffle. "I encourage every Kaiju monster to let loose in one of our secure structures, but I absolutely will not tolerate this kind of behavior."
Ask the Commissioner
Dear Commissioner, why did Dr. Cube and his Minions attack Dino Kang Jr. during Louden's "wireless rock concert" at the Danger Strikes Back show at Lupo's when in fact Dino Kang Jr. is a part of Cube's posse? - Stephen M.
That is a very good question. I don't claim to understand the sick and twisted mind of Dr. Cube and his Minion followers. Still, I would guess that they beat down their comrade because he chose to participate in the Harmonix Rock Band performance, and Cube has a long-standing classical-only, preferably Wagnerian, policy. This display of brutality is yet another reason why the good people of earth refuse to join Dr. Cube's evil crusade for world domination.
Email your questions to email@example.com.
There's all manner of Kaiju events coming up:
- April 25-27 at Middle Tennessee Anime Convention in Navshville, TN
- May 4 at MassArt's Mass Market, Boston, MA
Live Big Battels:
- May 10, The Roxy, Boston, MA
- June 1, The Trocadero, Philadelphia, PA
- June 7, Webster Hall, Manhattan, NY
The Kaiju Universe is ever expanding, and we're always looking for new opportunities for monster mayhem. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for more info.