All Out War 2 Is Too Close for Comfort
There's less than four days until what promises to be the most brutal night of monster wrestling in Philadelphia history, and there's only one way to see it; live at the Trocadero! Sure, maybe someday we'll have a bootleg DVD available, but can you really afford to wait? Jump on a bus, hop on a plane, start running, it doesn't matter; get yourself to Philly this Saturday!
D.W. Cycloptopuss III isn't exactly your typical Kaiju Championship contender, but the sneaky cephalopod thrust himself into the spotlight earlier this Spring when he stole the map to the secret Golden Treasure! After claiming to have found the treasure last month, Cycloptopuss has demanded a title shot, and has wagered his Golden Treasure against the champ, Neo Teppen. Can Teppen win the treasure and save the Heroes from their financial freefall, or will Cycloptopuss add the Kaiju Championship to his grand prize?
The Hero Intern '08 is one of the most exciting prospects in Kaiju history, and after defeating Vegetius earlier this year, the Intern is ready to graduate. Now, with a new Hero persona and Hero name, the Hero Formerly Known As Hero Intern '08 is ready to take flight! But standing in his way is none other than the dastardly Giii the Space Pirate, who isn't about to let Intern's graduation go off without a hitch!
With the recent death of the Commissioner, and rumors of corruption within the Kaiju Regulatory Commission, only one figure can be trusted in this day and age, and that figure is boxy and squarish. Yes, RoBox is back with yet another amazing match, this time putting four randomly-generated competitors against each other in two teams. The matchups are endless, but so is the potential for chaos!
After crippling Jeremiah the Pink Teddy Bear one too many times, Dusto Bunny has had enough of the Furious Furries. The Leaping Lagomorph has challenged Tucor to a fighto, and if the half-gerbil, half-toucan isn't too chicken, he'll do Battel against the wise old sage of the Kaiju Heroes. But Dusto better watch his back; it's not a question of "if" Tucor's partner, and fellow Double Danger Tandem Title holder, The Grudyin will show up, but "when".
Second Outage Hits Kaiju HQ; Intern Application Hits Snag
This Saturday will feature the highly-anticipated debut of the Hero Intern's new hero persona, but even though Giii the Space Pirate is nowhere to be seen, the process has already run into a few bumps along the way. After a second computer outage rocked Kaiju HQ this past weekend, Hero Application Processing systems were rendered inoperative. Unlike last week's outage, however, the circumstances behind this weekend's incident were strictly related to the analog/digital conversion on June 12th.
With the Intern's application in beaureaucratic limbo, the KRC has instead decided to de-mothball the HEROMATIC, a Hero Transformation device which hasn't been used in over 30 years. It was indefinitely put on the shelf after an incident involving the hero "Trondor", who was turned into "Righteous Avatar Superman" by the HEROMATIC in 1978. After DC Comics filed a lawsuit, the case was settled out of court for an undisclosed sum, and Trondor never saw the inside on the Danger Cage.
Trondor lost everything in the settlement, and died a homeless vagrant who collected cans to support his Asteroids game addiction. Is a similar fate in store for the Intern '08? Can the HEROMATIC be trusted, especially in light of recent accusations of bribery and corruption within the KRC? There's only one place to find out!
News and Notes
- As noted above, Kaiju Double Danger Tandem Title holder Tucor has yet to accept Dusto Bunny's open challenge made weeks ago on Kaiju.com. Requests for comment to Tucor and The Grudyin have gone unanswered, although a response wasn't expected, given the Furious Furries' inability to speak. Nevertheless, Dusto will be in attendance and expecting a fight, whether Tucor wants one or not.
- The race for Commissioner is one step closer to being clinched in favor of Dr. Cube, as now one more representative has changed his vote in favor of Cube. The Bad Doctor now has 26 out of 27 necessary votes, and lies just one vote away from taking the Commissioner seat. It is a dark day when half of the KRC can be bought and votes can be sold, but this appears to be the world we live in.
Question of the Week Surrounded by Exclamations
No way! Are there going to be even more bootlegs in the mall? Awesome!