COMMISSIONER MURDERED

There was plenty of news to come out of this past Friday's Kaiju In 3-D mega-event, but none more shocking and earth-shattering than the revealation that the Kaiju Commissioner has been murdered!

We've spent the last few months wondering why the Commissioner was consistently unavailable for comment, and it appears we have our definitive answer. What is less clear, however, is the nature of the crime, and even more importantly, who the culprit is!

It was none other than the nefarious Dr. Cube who discovered the body, and considering his track record, it would be only natural to assume the Bad Doctor is the prime suspect. But the smoking gun found on the scene of the crime was none other than the whistle of Referee Jingi, who was nowhere to be seen this past Friday! While Cube still seems like the obvious suspect, the presence of Jingi's whistle certainly throws a wrench into the whole case. Stay tuned, because this investigation is just getting started!

Kaiju in 3-D Quick Results

We'll have a full commentary up later this week, but in the meantime, here's the quick results from an action-packed Friday night in Brooklyn!

We're only giving you this because we know how hungry you are for news, but this isn't anywhere close to a complete account of what happened this past Friday. There's so much to digest, so much to talk about, we're just giving you a taste to whet your appetite; check back later this week for more!

Final Exam Fighto
Hero Intern '08 defeated Vegetius

The Intern got the win, as well as the big promotion, after finishing Vegetius off with a flying headbutt from the top rope. Afterwards, Dr. Cube interfered and knocked out Sun Buster with a Power Glove (!), and revealed to the Warsaw crowd that the Commissioner had been murdered!

Mean 13 RoBox Rumble
Dino Kang Jr. Won

With the odds heavily stacked against him, and facing such stiff competition as Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder, Pedro Plantain, Sekmet and nine other monsters, Dino Kang Jr. somehow pulled off the impossible and was the sole survivor of the Mean 13!

International House of Pain Fighto
American Beetle defeated French Toast

Despite the Champion of Breakfast's dirty tactics, American Beetle got the better of Toast to snag a big win for America. To celebrate, RoBox declared a Dance Party!

Dance Party
The Furious Furries defeated Super Wrong

With the Double Danger Tandem Title match cancelled in favor of a dance party, the Furious Furries apparently didn't like Super Wrong's moves and laid the funky Hero to waste. Afterwards, it was revealed that Dr. Cube had kidnapped the Baby Sky Deviler!

Treasure Map Fighto
D.W. Cycloptopuss III defeated Dusto Bunny

The Kaiju Commissioner, in a posthumous video message to the Warsaw crowd, informed the world of the existence of the Golden Treasure; the location of which would be found in a secret treasure map. Honoring his late uncle's wishes, Louden Noxious canceled the scheduled Powa Ranjuru/Gomi-Man matchup, and started the treasure hunt right away! Dusto Bunny appeared to have the map in his clutches, but an explosive booby trap stunned the Leaping Lagomorph long enough to allow the clam-scented Cycloptopuss to snag the loot and make his escape!

Kaiju Championship Match
Neo Teppen defeated Uchu Chu

The results say Neo Teppen beat Uchu Chu, but the whole story is much more complicated than that. A poisoned dart from Dr. Cube eliminated Teppen from the proceedings early, but Uchu wanted both the Kaiju Championship and the Baby Sky Deviler back, so Uchu and Cube went at it. But it wasn't long before Kung Fu Chicken Noodle made his return to the Kaiju Big Ring, making the fighto a three-way-dance. After some intense triangular Battel action, Powa Ranjuru made her presence felt and, with the unexpected help of Soup, gave Neo Teppen a chance to recover and put away Uchu for the win.