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Time Bomb

In the summer of 1944, an elite nucleus of Nazi physicists was given a highly classified mission: develop a secret weapon to protect German cities from Allied bombing campaigns. Working day and night, dabbling on the fringes of theoretical physics, the team masterminded the Super Dimensional Slug One, a defense weapon that would trump enemies in a way they'd never imagined: time travel. The strategic premise of the Super Dimensional Slug (a/k/a SDS-1) was that the mechanical mollusk would travel back in time and shoot down American bomber sorties before they bombarded their Nazi targets. These clock-defying capabilities were made possible by SDS-1's time-space-continuum manipulator; the gastropod gadget was also outfitted with two red antennae that could shoot devastating blasts of photons - a crude version of today's laser technology.

But the Allies' intelligence-gathering systems were onto the Nazi's slippery plans. So the Brits and the Americans launched a pre-emptive attack against Hitler's totalitarian regime: they deployed a joint covert-commando force to destroy the Slug before the Nazis could perfect the instrument's time-manipulating faculties. But on September 9, 1944, moments after Allied forces landed on a German airfield to seize SDS-1, the Slug inexplicably vanished. Both sides were mystified - they accused one other of foul play. This disappearance would haunt the world for years to come: unbeknownst to the general public, it wasn't nuclear weapons or an ideological divide that engendered the Cold War - it was a Slug.

The Cold War came and melted, but the mystery of the Slug remained for 58 years. Then on September 3, 2002, astronomers from the International Space Station (ISS) detected a giant unidentified mass hurtling towards Earth. According to ISS radio spectrometry array, the object's movements defied the basic laws of physics. Moreover, the ISS calculated that if the 925-foot object continued on its current course at this speed, there was a 97.25% chance it would collide with Earth within a week.

The world freaked. People screamed. Atheists prayed. Everyone guessed what it might be: the scientific community hypothesized that the object was a new type of super comet; good ol' God-fearing folks believed the body was the second coming of Christ; a few paranoid lunatics from California conjectured that it was an alien-harvesting machine on the way to glean its bi-millennial crop of human flesh. But the panic grew to a fever pitch when the Hubble Space Telescope Project published photos that revealed what it was: a giant slug! In the pictures, the enormous slug's skin resembled a World War II-era Nazi bomber; its grey backside, sky-blue underbelly, and black markings harked back to the warplanes of the Luftwaffe. These features led experts to conclude that the entity was the infamous Super Dimensional Slug One. After all these years, SDS-1 was coming home.

In an ironic twist of fate, the Nazi contraption was headed to crash in Berlin. Reaction to SDS-1's homecoming was mixed. Skeptics insisted that the end of the world was near, and that the Nazi party would finally have the last laugh. Conversely, the streets of Argentina erupted with elderly white men celebrating the return of Germany's once "Great Grey Hope." The rest of the international community collapsed into a neurotic frenzy as SDS-1 barreled towards earth on a mission of global annihilation.

The catapulting Slug was merely 3 hours away from impact when an unlikely "hero" saved Germany (and perhaps the entire planet) from catastrophe. As the rest of the world stood by helplessly, evil genius Dr. Cube - himself a Nazi progeny - intercepted the speeding Slug in outer space. Using a remote control he bought at a military antique auction, Cube commandeered the Slug and sent it flying into his gated compound. Right away, the demented doctor discovered that the Slug was riddled with operational bugs: when SDS-1 landed, it missed Hell Monkey's bunker by a Minion hair. Apparently, the Nazis had made far less progress than Allied military intelligence had initially thought. But Dr. Cube, determined to use all available resources in his quest to rule earth, repaired the Slug as best he could and sent him off to Battel Los Plantanos at Boston's Roxy Ruckus. Despite technical difficulties, SDS-1 scored his first victory alongside Napalean that evening.

Since then, the Slug hasn't proved to be the swiftest member of Dr. Cube's Posse, but his mobility and tenacity do seem to grow with every Battel. The Kaiju Heroes, and the rest of the free world, fear that it may only be a matter of time before this slowpoke gets on the fast track to Big Battel success.

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