Kaiju in 3-D One Day Away!
There's less than 48 hours until the Warsaw will be torn to pieces in what promises to be one of the most explosive Battels of all time, Kaiju in 3-D!. Six matches of monster mayhem are promised in what some are saying is the most dangerous Big Battel in years, and when this one's over, nothing's gonna be left standing!
Kaiju in 3-D
With Musical Guests Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears
When: Fri, April 3rd, 8:00 PM
Where: Warsaw at the Polish National Home, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn, NY
Tickets: $20, available at Ticketmaster
In this classic rivalry, Uchu Chu beat Neo Teppen for the Kaiju Championship last summer. But a week later, Teppen got his rematch and made the most of it, recapturing his belt. Now, in the rubber match, these two will do Battel one last time, but this time, we really mean it; no matter who wins, there will be no rematch!
After winning the Double Danger Tandem Tournament, the Sea Amigos are now the undisputed #1 contenders to the Furious Furries' Tandem Titles. Unibouzu and D.W. Cycloptopuss III are a powerful team, but The Grudyin and Tucor aren't exactly paper champions, either!
The Hero Intern '08 is one of the most promising Kaiju Hero prospects in quite some time, but the road to becoming a full-fledged Hero is not an easy one. For his final exam, the Intern must take on the wild beast Vegetius! With former intern Sun Buster in his corner, will this rising star reach his goal, or crash back to Earth?
RoBox has calculated the 13 meanest monsters in Kaiju, and will bring one out every minute in a Battel Royal for the ages! Monsters are eliminated upon being ejected from the ring, but watch your head, because one might just land on you!
Kaiju Heroes are supposed to get along and work together, but evidently no one told these two. After a few too many pithy comments and petty arguments, the Kaiju Regulatory Commission has decided to allow these two Heroes, American Beetle and French Toast, to let out their aggressions in the ring against each other. But if Toast wins, the entire Warsaw crowd will have to wear berets for the rest of the evening!
Powa Ranjuru loves to lend a helping hand, but her friend Neo Teppen has asked her to stay away during his Title Fighto in the interest of fairness. To distract herself, Powa has decided to challenge Dr. Cube's trash monster Gomi-Man, who shouldn't have any trouble giving Powa some problems of her own!
Report: Cursed Artifacts Being Gathered?
Kaiju Regulatory Commission Black Ops have been "securing" cursed objects from around the globe, reports one anonymous source within the KRC, as well as numerous third-party sources across the world. Reports have come in from Egypt, the Amazon, the Isle of Zorba, and multiple indications from the mountains of China that major artifacts and structures have been removed via a multiple-helicopter delivery method.
"Removing the Pagoda of the 12 Golden Monkeys offends the Chinese people and undermines their cultural rights," said Jiang Woo, the Chinese Foreign Ministry Spokesman today. "We demand the immediate return of this Pagoda. Also, you guys know it's totally cursed, right?" Other countries, however, didn't seem to mind and were actually a bit relived to see the structures go. "Honestly, we're totally cool with it as long as it's not Carmen San Diego and one of her harebrained schemes, like the time she stole the beans from Lima or when she ran that scam in Scandinavia," added Frank, the Head of National Security for Zorba. With this revelation coming just a day before the big show, what could this possibly mean? And what could the KRC possibly want with these artifacts?
Question of the Week
You joined the Official Kaiju Facebook Group, right?
Super Wrong Suspends Dusto From Jump Squad
After his unceremonious elimination from the Double Danger Tandem Tournament, Super Wrong has spent the last few weeks looking for someone to blame for what he thought was an otherwise flawless plan to reach Tandem immortaility. After careful deliberation, Super Wrong decided against blaming himself and instead has marked Dusto Bunny as the scapegoat; suspending him from the Yokosuka Jump Squadron for one week.
Of course, those who followed the Tournament know that Dusto Bunny wasn't even in the match where the Jump Squad was eliminated. Super Wrong actually removed Dusto from the team coming into the semis, which saw the Sea Amigos crush Super Wrong and the crippled Jeremiah the Pink Teddy Bear. But Super Wrong, not one to blame his incredibly inept management skills, has told Dusto to stay away from the affairs of the YJS. Dusto was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy celebrating his sudden good fortune.
Question of the Week #2
Okay, seriously, where the hell is the Commissioner?