63% More Priceless Than a Stradivarius
Heroic Guitar Missing
Just a few short weeks before the New and Improved Boston Massacre, the Hero Intern 08 has suffered a devastating loss. HI08's guitar, dubbed Jiro (although it allegedly also answers to Battellica, Keyless Key-tar the Great, and Steve) was stolen on Friday night from his unlocked car as he ran into a taqueria in Boston's Mattapan neighborhood to pick up some quality grub for American Beetle. The complicated order of a burrito bowl with double chicken, triple shredded cheese, quadruple sour cream, 3/16 queso sauce, and a light sprinkling of tomatoes took over 15 minutes to prepare, and when the rocker returned to his '95 Geo Metro his heavy metal hardware was missing. For more information, check out this missing musical instrument poster.
With or without his trusty guitar, the Hero Intern will be joining a whole mess of other monsters, Heros, and hangers-on when Kaiju Big Battel returns to Boston, Massachusetts on Saturday night, May 10th! It has been a long time since Kaiju rock 'n' rolled in Boston, so don't miss this return of the hometown Heroes. Get your tickets now at ticketmaster.com or any Ticketmaster location.
New and Improved Boston Massacre
What: Kaiju Big Battel with special guests from CHIKARA PRO
Musical Guest: DJ Clashious Clay
Where: The Roxy, 279 Tremont Street, Boston, MA. 02116
When: Saturday, May 10th. 7:00 Doors. 8:00 Show.
Tickets: $20. Ticketmaster. This is an 18+ event.
CHIKARA Pro's Los Ice Creams have made an ominous threat to the citizens of Boston. Apparently upset with the Bay State's frozen treat consumpution patterns, the fearsome freezer dwellers have taken control of the Super Dimensional Slug in order to retrieve Kaiju's Sekmet from the deepest regions of outer space. Now the three have threatened to enact the Boston Cream Massacre on May 10th by covering the city in soft serve. In order to ensure the safety of all of the great Kaiju fans, the Kaiju Commissioner has selected Swedish Hero Slo Feng to face this burgeoning threat at the New and Improved Boston Massacre. For more information, check out this Chikara Special Report featuring Kaiju's own Louden Noxious.
Dusto to Tangle with Tucor
Sage Hero Dusto Bunny was robbed of the Kaiju Championship Belt at Danger Strikes Back! when The Iron Brothers interfered in the main event fighto. Dusto sacrificed his shot at gold to save the champ Call-Me-Kevin from the beating of his life. While it is still unknown who hired the metallic mercenaries, Dusto Bunny is determined to find out. The Heroic hare has vowed that he will tear through every Kaiju faction until he gets to the bottom of this. Dusto Bunny will begin his crusade at the New and Improved Boston Massacre with Cube's Posse by challenging Dr. Cube's remixed rodent, Tucor!
More Battels Coming
What: Kaiju Big Battel with special guest Chris Hero
Musical Guest: Harry and the Potters and DJ Clashious Clay
Where: The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. Philadelphia, PA 19107
When: Sunday June 1st, Doors 3:00PM. 4:00PM Show.
Tickets: $19.50. Ticketmaster and the Trocadero Box Office. All Ages.
What: Kaiju Big Battel
Musical Guest: Ronald Regan and DJ Clashious Clay
Where: Webster Hall, 125 East 11th St. Manhattan, NY, 10003
When: Saturday, June 7th. 6:00PM Doors. 7:00PM Show.
Tickets: $25. Ticketmaster and the Mercury Lounge Box Office. This is a 16+ event.
Kaiju Wants You
The Commissioner is proud to welcome our newest Studio Kaiju production assistants, Duncan and Adrien. Do you have what it takes to protect the world from giant city-crushing monsters this summer? Then the Kaiju Commissioner wants you! Video, web, and production Interns wanted now. Check out the Kaiju Jobs page for full descriptions.
Question of the Week
Is the Kaiju Commissioner a Skrull?
Boulder Shut Out from Main Event Picture?
The Kaiju Commissioner has narrowed down the list of potential contenders for the Kaiju Championship Belt at the New and Improved Boston Massacre to two possible challengers: Neo Teppen, and the dastardly Dr. Cube. Cube and his Posse still have plenty of unfinished business with Kaiju Champion Call-Me-Kevin, and Teppen has been the most stalwart of Heroes in recent years. This news did not sit well with Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder who has done nothing but reiterate his desire to be champion since joining the Big Battel. Despite the Commissioner's pronouncement, Boulder is certain he will find a way to enter the main event.
Is the Bug Back?
Uchu Chu has returned from a lengthy absence with great news for fans of Team Spacebug. The native of Xertoid has been tearing through the ranks of Kaiju Big Battel's European division in what many suspect is a warm-up to his eventual return to the main event circuit. In his latest Euro-Battel Uchu defeated Herr Kraftprotz in under three minutes in front of a sold-out crowd of 102,500 at Fiolent Stadium in Simferopol, Ukraine, capturing das Kaiju Meisterschaft-Riemen and a massive cash prize of €1,750 (US$12,225,000).
There's all manner of Kaiju events coming up:
- April 25-27 at Middle Tennessee Anime Convention in Navshville, TN
- May 4 at MassArt's Mass Market, Boston, MA
Live Big Battels:
- May 10, The Roxy, Boston, MA
- June 1, The Trocadero, Philadelphia, PA
- June 7, Webster Hall, Manhattan, NY
The Kaiju Universe is ever expanding, and we're always looking for new opportunities for monster mayhem. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for more info.