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Kaiju Big Battel
Bradley Attacks

Say It Ain't So, Bro!

Bradley Wanted for Questioning in New York Plane Crash

People all over the world were glued to their television during last week's emergency plane landing in New York's Hudson River. On Thursday, a twin-jet Airbus A320 experienced a bird strike shortly after taking off and was forced to make a crash landing in the Hudson River. Thanks to some serious piloting skills, disaster was averted and all 155 passengers on the plane survived, although one later perished in an unfortunate gardening incident on Sunday.

However, what should be a celebration of one brave pilot's miraculous feat has turned into a nightmare for the Hawaiian Paddler Tadd Bradley. Bradley is wanted for questioning in the incident and has been named the primary suspect by the NTSB. A "bird strike" occurs when an avian creature commits premeditated assault on a commercial aircraft, and as Kaiju Big Battel's most well-known bird-like creature, Bradley became a victim of his own fame.

While he hasn't turned himself in yet, Bradley maintains his innocence. We here at Kaiju.com are supposed to remain objective in these matters, but we can't help but feel Bradley may have been framed. For one, Bradley wasn't even in New York on Thursday, as the Kaiju Hero was watching "Point Break" on basic cable at his home in Hawaii, as he is known to do every day of the week for the last 17 years. Also, Bradley cannot fly, as his primary mode of transportation is hanging ten on a gnarly wave or tick-tackin' on his skateboard. Bradley says he will turn himself in to police this week, and hopes the misunderstanding can be rectified soon. Stay tuned for more updates.

Giii Announces Plans to Attend Inauguration

2008 was an important year for the United States of America, as American citizens Sun Buster, Hero Intern '08, Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder and American Beetle all had impressive campaigns. Almost as impressive was the campaign of Barack Obama, who defeated John McCain to become the 44th President of the United States in a Battel for the ages. And while millions will descend upon Washington, DC for his historic inauguration on Tuesday, one Kaiju Rogue is also getting in on the action.

Giii the Space Pirate, who was last seen attempting return fraud at a local Electronics Bouquet, has embarked on a series of bus rides to Washington in an attempt to sell bootleg Obama merchandise to onlookers. Giii, whose piracy business has taken a severe hit in the fading economy, also has a background in T-shirt printing.

"Back when 'The Apprentice' was big in 2005, I made a killin' on them You're Fired! shirts," said Giii. "And before that, ya got no idea how much I made from shirts that be sayin' Don't Vote Me Off!', because it worked with both 'Survivor' and 'American Idol!' The plan was flawless, matey!". Giii hasn't decided what the shirts will say yet, but is leaning towards either Obamarama! or Do You Smell What Barack is Cookin? Experts agree that Giii should probably decide soon, since he only has, as of this writing, one day left.

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World Waits One More Week for Super Wrong Site

After announcing the launch date of his brand new website last week, Kaiju Hero Super Wrong is the focus of the nation as the grand opening day approaches. On Monday, January 26th, Super Wrong launches what some experts think will start a new revolution in online interactivity.

"Every so often, an invention will come along that changes the world forever," Super Wrong said to Kaiju.com last week. "In 1945, the invention of the atomic bomb brought peace to the world. In 1793, the Cotton Gin ended slavery forever. But both of those will look like Teddy Ruxpins when my new website launches!"

While Super Wrong's comments caused one historian to have a brain aneurysm, experts predict the website may cause millions of dollars in psychological damage from mind-blown web-goers. Said one source, "If you combine how good he is at dancing with how good he is at fighting, and pretend either of those things have anything to do with web design, it's a home run!" The URL of the site has been kept just as under wraps as the page itself, so the only place you're going to find it is next week, right here on Kaiju.com!

Question of the Week

Will there be any Kaiju at the Rumble?

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