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Kaiju Big Battel
Kaiju in 3-D

Never Before Seen!

Official Show Art Unveiled!

A live Kaiju Big Battel isn't a Big Battel without three things; monsters, skyscrapers, and an awesome poster to tie it all together. Kaiju in 3-D is no exception, as the official show art was revealed to a crowd of thousands this past weekend.

Kaiju in 3-D
With Musical Guests Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears
When: Fri, April 3rd, 8:00 PM
Where: Warsaw at the Polish National Home, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn, NY
Tickets: $20, available at Ticketmaster

Perhaps even cooler than the poster itself was the announcement that not only will you be able to buy your very own poster at the Kaiju Mall, but each poster will come with an exclusive, unreleased Kaiju shirt! So check out the newly-redesigned Mall for all the details.

But the unveiling did not go off without a hitch; typically, the Kaiju Commissioner attends the unveiling of every show poster, but the Commish was noticeably absent. Publicity representatives said the Commissioner regretted being unable to attend, but was unavailable for comment. This marks the latest in a series of no-shows and cancellations for the Commish, who now hasn't made a public appearance in over five months. More on this as it develops.

Tag Tourney Kicks Off With Prelim Win for Pirates

The Kaiju Double Danger Tandem Tourney officially got off to a big start, as the Preliminary Play-In round saw the team of Giii the Space Pirate and Sekmet absolutely just clobber Call-Me-Kevin in what ended up being a handicapped, 2-on-1 beating.

Call-Me-Kevin named Vegetius as his partner on the tournament application, but evidently didn't do enough to ensure his attendance. Since Vegetius usually strikes during opening ceremonies of Kaiju shows, Kevin tried playing songs on an acoustic guitar to draw the monster out, but instead drew the Space Pirates, who also happen to be prone to interrupting opening ceremonies. With the bracket set for the quarterfinals, check back on Thursday for all the action as it unfolds!

Toast and Beetle Clash Again

It was only a few months ago when French Toast and American Beetle were about to come to blows over their cultural differences. But the cancellation of that Battel under mysterious circumstances, combined with warm feelings across the world from President Obama's inauguration, have led to what appeared to be a truce between the Kaiju Heroes.

That fragile ceasefire came to an end this week, as Toast and Beetle had to be separated by security at a Mock-UN conference attended by Ms. Talbot's 7th grade class. The two Heroes were invited as guests of honor and keynote speakers, but the afternoon turned ugly in the lunchroom, the site of many other international incidents involving American Beetle, as he claimed France was inferior because there was no such thing as "French Chop Suey", which elicited a furious outburst from the Champion of Breakfasts. The two are subject to face disciplinary action, but the Commissioner has yet to comment on the situation.

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Super Wrong Injured, Tournament Status Doubtful

Kaiju Hero Super Wrong, leader of the Yokosuka Jump Squadron and arguably the funkiest organism in American history, past or future, may have to sit out the upcoming Tag Tandem Tournament. While working on what he claims was/will be named Google's #1 most powerful website in 2012, Super Wrong hurt his wrist in the midst of an intense blagging session. After calling 911 and complaining of a possible cyst outbreak, it was discovered that the injury was Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

As a result, Super Wrong may have to exercise the rarely-utilized Freebird Rule in his contract, which allows his three-man team to compete in Double Danger matches with any combination of two members from his group. This means that Super Wrong will likely end up subbing in Jeremiah the Pink Teddy Bear, who as you may recall, is still in a coma from his injuries sustained at the claws of the Furious Furries.

Unless Super Wrong plans on a Willis Reed-like performance, the new Yokosuka Jump Squadron will be in action for the first time this Thursday, against the team of Napalean and Gomi-Man. We'll see you then!

Question of the Week

Wait, so where is this tournament being held?

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