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Kaiju Big Battel

Powa Ranjuru to Find a Powa Boyfriendo

Who can resist a red-masked, vinyl omega-leap sneaker-clad, Danger-dust toting fairy? Apparently not Kaiju's young guns, who are lining up to give teen Hero Powa Ranjuru the time of day. Previously, Powa had considered dating an unwanted distraction to her world-saving work. Last week however, the Heroes' #1 secret weapon decided to spread her White Special Flying Wings™ and venture out of her house for a series of dates, equipped with her titanium and fiber glass Mallet Protector. Unfortunately, the dates have not quite gone as planned.

On Tuesday, recycled avenger Robox invited Powa to go rollerblading in Central Pork. Robox is one of the most eligible bachelors in the Battel, as his new Hello Robox Video will attest, and Powa had long been an admirer of his Heroic feats and his overwhelming cardboardines, so she accepted his offer. Robox and Powa quickly found they had a lot in common, such as how they both struggled as children with their extreme height and how much they love the color red. They even shared a cup of their favorite drink - chunky hot chocolate topped with tin foil sprinkles. Powa and the 'Box were hitting it off like Dawson and his creek, but when they strapped on their inline skates the date quickly went south. All the grinding, shredding, and gleaming of the cube caused Robox's feet to become unexpectedly hot and his rubber boots burst into flames.

The billowing cloud of toxic rubber fumes overwhelmed all the New Yorkers and visiting tourists in the Park, leaving them dazed, confused, and short a few million brain cells. Embarrassed and frustrated, Ranjuru took flight upon her numinous wings, flapping madly to dissipate the cloud as she made her escape, sprinkling Danger Dust in her wake.

While things didn't work out with Robox, Powa hasn't given up on the dating scene. Check back next week to hear about Powa's next date.

Kaiju Chikara Result

Last weekend, Kaiju Big Battel made a special fighto appearance at Chikara Aversario!. The Kaiju Commisioner forced Dr. Cube to team with perennial loser Call-Me-Kevin to take on Dusto Buny, and Giii the Space Pirate, as punishment for his aggression against Chikara Commissioner and TV star Bob Saget. A tremendous Battel raged between the two Kaiju teams, until Cube refused to tag-in his incompetent companion, and was forced to take the most of the punishment for his team. Despite Cube's awful attitude, CMK proved he's got talent by launching a backwards "Salt-Water-Sault" from the top turnbuckle! Despire this display of fighto prowess, Cube kept snubbing Kevin, so he stalked right out of the ECW Arena, leaving Cube in the Chikara ring. After a Dusto delivered the bunny shot, it was all over for Kaiju's maddest scientist, as Jingi make the 3 count and the team of Dusto and Giii were declared winners of the Sci Fi South Philly Street Fighto!

Kaiju Coming to San Diego Comic-Con

Kaiju Big Battel will be visiting San Diego this summer from July 26-29. While we're in town we'll be attending a young, upstart comic book convetion called San Diego International Comic-Con. It's unclear how many people will show up for this under-the-radar con, but rest assured Kaiju will have a booth.

  • July 26-29 at San Diego Comic-Con

Chikara Photo Callout

Do you have Kaiju fan photos from Chikara Pro Aniversario!? Email them to submit@kaiju.com for a chance to be this month's Otaku Fan King!

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

D.W. Launches Kaiju Dating Club

Powa Ranjuru's adventures in dating have inspired undersea trust-fundafarian D.W. Cycloptopuss III to launch a new business venture - an online dating service for Kaiju women! The start-up, dubbed Big Battel Women's Singles Finder, is designed to cater to the rapidly growing market of modern, multi-story tall super-women seeking love in the online era. According to D.W.'s business plan, BBWsinglesfinder.com will compare 72 different compatability characteristics such as personality-type, music preference, and finishing move.

Cycloptopuss has managed to raise $1.3 billion in a first round of venture capital funding, but some observers are skeptical about the new company. MSNBC analyst Chet Dollarsly has pointed out that D.W. didn't even bother to check if the bbwsinglesfinder.com domain was available. Dollarsly, also questioned the company's viability, pointing out that the market for a Kaiju dating service is quite small - "Catering to such a tiny market is crazy! It would be like creating a dating service for Star Trek fans, farmers, equestrian enthusiasts, or punk rockers. It just won't work!"

Join the Kaiju Anime Club

The Kaiju Anime Club is growing fast, and we're always looking for new member clubs. If your club is interested in joining, please sign up today, or email info@kaiju.com for more info.

Question of the Week

Rofo, what did you do to the email?!

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