Kaiju Tools Get Email Updates Buy Kaiju's Debut Book Discuss Email this page
Kaiju Big Battel

For Powa, Dating Stinks

Powa Ranjuru's ongoing misadventures in dating have been a real pain in the tutu for the most Powa-ful Kaiju Hero, and this week was no different thanks to an odoriferous date with Slo Feng. On Tuesday morning, Slo Feng arrived on Ranjuru's doorstep carrying a bouquet of Swedish meatball sticks for the young Heroine. Slo Feng suggested going to see the new Fantastic Five movie, but Powa knew she could not bear his notorious Swedish Stink inside a theater, so she recommended a drive-in instead. Always seeking a thrill, Slo brought along his mighty warhammer, Tordon Skelle Kressa, in case anyone tried to take advantage of his fine-feathered date (despite the fact that Powa has had to rescue the hairy Hero from certain doom on many occasions).

Thanks to some noseplugs she found in her Air Jordan leather purse, Powa was enjoying the movie and the meatball sticks when suddenly, looking into the rear-view mirror to check out his narcissistic self, Slo Feng saw a silver blob charging toward his motorcycle. Alas, it was traiterous former-Hero Silver Potato, providing his own theatrical engagement - "The Return of the Silver Spud!" Blood-stained machete in hand, the starchy villain smashed in the back window of Slo Feng's F-150 and screamed "Hey, Eurotrash- get your hands off my girl!"

Embarassed, Powa quickly explained that before disappearing into a world of evil, Potato had wooed her unsuccesfully. Slo Feng, displaying his customary class, decided that he didn't want to get involved in an unrequited love triangle, and peeled out, leaving Powa alone to handle the rotten Potato.

Nothing Like a Classic

The classic Cube t-shirt design is back - and this time it's more comfortable! The throw-back Cube Classic T-Shirt features the world-famous Dr. Cube logo and is available in either Bad Guy Black or Surgical Scrubs Blue. These are high-quality, super-comfortable American Apparel Ts and feature the Dr. Cube logo in white.

Of course, Dr. Cube never forgets the ladies so there is also a Cube Classic Girlie T. The Girlie T features the same design on a black American Apparel "Classic Girlie" T-shirt.

Both shirts are only $15 each, so surf over to the Kaiju Mall and get one today!

Afterparty Attacked

In typical Kaiju Big Battel fashion, the Dangerous MoCCA Afterparty at the R Bar, devolved into a classic mix of monster posturing, excessive drinking (sodas and juices only of course), and an overwhelming amount of hob-nobbing. Dr. Cube was his normal cheerful self, assaulting fans and picking fights with bouncers. Giii the Space Pirate decided to show off his dancing skills on what the Beav called the R Bar's "professional ballet equipment." Pedro Plantain one-upped Giii by showing that it takes two to tango. Louden Noxious served as a capable MC most of the night, much to the delight of his fans. However, like many attendance, he ended the night looking a little worse for wear.

A big thanks goes out to the dudes from Manual Comics for cohosting the party. Check out their new book: Mauled! #4.

Bumper Stickers Back

Kaiju Bumper Stickers are back, and boy they are the best looking sticker you'll ever buy. Bundles of these bumper stickers have been bought by boys and girls to brighten up the bumpers of their cars and bicycles. A big-time shortage banished the bumper stickers from the Kaiju Mall, but now their back! Big time! Buy one today!

Join the Kaiju Anime Club

The Kaiju Anime Club is growing fast, and we're always looking for new member clubs. If your club is interested in joining, please sign up today, or email info@kaiju.com for more info.

Kaiju Coming to San Diego Comic-Con

Kaiju Big Battel will be visiting San Diego this summer from July 26-29. While we're in town we'll be attending a young, upstart comic book convention called San Diego International Comic-Con. It's unclear how many people will show up for this under-the-radar con, but rest assured Kaiju will have a booth.

  • July 26-29 at San Diego Comic-Con

Question of the Week

Who's up for a roman candle fight?

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

July Fanking

The July Fanking has been chosen, and in honor of the 4th of July, this month's winner is "The Return of American Beetle" by longtime Otaku contributer Monstermaniac. In this regal rendering, American Beetle is apparently celebrating his recent victory over death by punching the sun in the face. Congratulations Monstermaniac. Email your shipping info to info@kaiju.com and your prize pack will be sent out shortly.

The Beetle illustration was just one of several excellent submissions by Monstermaniac this spring/summer - stay tuned to kaiju.com for plenty more Otaku from Monstermaniac and others including brand new Fanking winners! If you want a chance at the Otaku Fan King crown, send your Fan Art, Photos, DIY Toys, etc. to submit@kaiju.com.

Minions Kidnap Paris Hilton Upon Release From Jail

When claustrophobic hotel heiress Paris Hilton emerged from her cold and clammy jail cell, she was ecstatic to see the sparkling sunshine of the great outdoors. Armed with a born-again attitube and expecting a swarm of paparazzi, she was shocked to find a crowd of camera-clad Minions awaiting her release. They immediately besieged the diva, carrying her to Cube's lair in a filthy tarp, ruining her perfectly brushed blonde extensions and glossy lips. Deep in his dankest dungeon, Cube performed a series of experiments on Paris to find out just how she maintained her perfect posture, social elegance and prima donna attitude when two sheets to the wind.

Unfortunately, Miss Hilton's frail physique and emotional instability made her unfit for even Dr. Cube's twisted brand of medicine. Relpasing to her pre-incarceration disposition, she proceeded to beat Cube with her Prada purse and stabbed several Minions with her Gucci heals on her way out. Bruised, beaten, prodded, and injected with antifreeze (a state not-so-foreign to the hedonistic heiress), Paris returned to her Hollywood home and into the arms of her family and friends who were eagerly awaiting her return. Little did they know, thanks to Cube and the Minions, Paris' life would be forever changed...

Bottom Border