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Kaiju Big Battel

New Kaiju
360 Bideo

Louden Noxious launched his latest show, Kaiju 360, this week and received rave reviews from Entertainment Weekly, Teen People, and Adult Oriented Glamour Magazine with Preteen Audience Monthly . In this exciting new program, Louden counts down the top 10 Hottest Kaiju stars and provides incredible insight into each Kaiju's current ranking. The Top 10 is based on a proprietary KRC algorithm that factors in several key popularity variables including recent fighto records, message board mentions, and the Commissioner's personal opinions among other highly scientific variables. Enough about the method, check out the March madness of Kaiju 360 by clicking here.

Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder
Caught on Film

New Kaiju Hero, and unofficial protector of Colorado, Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder has finally been captured on film as a the Number 10 Kaiju on Louden's 360 countdown! It looks like Kaiju's evil doers will soon find themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place as this steam-punk stoner rolls his way across the Battel. Little is known about just who created this new force for good, but judging by SPTB's appendages they were probably big fans of Maniac Mansion.

New Fan Kits

Kaiju stars like SPTB are so HOT, that you need some fans to keep cool! Fortunately, you can now support your Kaiju favorites with the new, design-savvy Kaiju Fan Kit. Each kit comes packaged in a protective bag and includes 3 random fan signs such as Cube Saves, Mmm Mmm Bad, Team Space Bug, and Danger Can Happen. Some assembly required: you get to glue/staple the signs to the wooden handles. Check out the Kaiju Fan Kits plus more goodies in the Fun Time aisle in the Kaiju Mall.

Cube Implicated in Poison Dog Food Plot

Scandal rocked the world of big box retailers this week, as Dr. Cube was revealed as the supplier of poisoned dog food to a number of national chains. Well known for his "Papers and Slippers, No More" brand dog food operation, Cube was thought to have been put out of the pet-poisoning business by former Hero Silver Potato, before his shocking defection to Cube's Posse. At the time, Potato was rumored to have stolen Cube's foul formula thus shutting down the nefarious operation.

Operating through shell company Menu Foods, however, Cube was recently able to resume his canine culling activities thanks to the traitor tator's return of the rancid recipe. According to broad-sheet tabloid, The New York Times, Cube's company produced 1 billion cans and bags of wet food last year. How much of this food was poisoned is unclear, but once again Cube has proven to be man's best friend's worst friend of all.

Uchu Down and Out?

Legendary Kaiju Uchu Chu the Space Bug was robbed of his shot at the Kaiju Championship Belt at the recent TV Pilot Battel when Dr. Cube and two Super Minions attacked him before he even made it into the ring. Uchu's knee received countless traumatic blows at the hands of the ferocious Super Minions #96 & #107 and the former champ was unable to make it to the ring for the evening's main event. Still, Dr. Cube and Uchu beating each other to a squishy pulp is nothing new. Why then would the brawny Space Bug drop so easily?

Evidently, Uchu Chu's exoskeleton has been weakened by years of excessive Royal Jelly consumption. Although Royal Jelly gives Space Bugs a quick euphoric buzz, it also accelerates the exoskeleton shedding/molting process. Dr. Cube, who is a mad scientist after all, observed Uchu's deteriorating condition and knew he could take out the Space Bug with a few well-aimed whacks.

While the KRC has not received an official comment from Team Space Bug, Kaiju's resident astrophysicist, Sentai Jin has launched an investigation to explore Royal Jelly's degenerative effects on Space Bugs. Could Team Space Bug's days as a formidable force be numbered because of their penchant for the intoxicating Jelly?

Ask the Commissioner

Dear Commissioner,

Why didn't Dino Kang Jr. do commentary along side Louden Noxious or even make an appearance at the live Kaiju Big Battel TV pilot in Boston on Feb 21st like he was supposed to?

Stephen Messier

Dear Steve:

That is a very good question. After a thorough preliminary KRC investigation, it appears as though Dino Kang Jr. was indeed at the TV Pilot Battel. Still, Dino Kang never left his dressing room. Kaiju behavior experts report that the anxiety of his return to the Big Battel after his long hiatus, coupled with his ongoing public struggle with illicit Dino drugs may have caused the cute little killer to lose his nerve and retreat to the comfort of his well-stocked greenroom.

I feel bad for the misguided Dino and wonder if its time he left Dr. Cube's Posse, so he can get proper treatment. Obviously, Dr. Cube is incapable of treating Dino's malaise. It may be time for an officially sanctioned intervention, before our little friend shaves his head and gets a pair of lips tattoed on his wrist!

Your Concerned Friend,
Kaiju Commissioner

Do you have a question for the Kaiju Commissioner? Email him at commissioner@kaiju.com.

Congratulations

Best wishes to David & Camille!

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

Figure King Manga

Earlier this month, kaiju.com reported that a Sky Deviler figure was soon to be released by legendary Japanese toy company Marmit. The Big Battel invasion of the Japanese toy world continues with this brand new manga by Nawoki Karsawa in issue #109 of Figure King. Nawoki, the creator of the monthly Figure King comic series "Pachimon Dai-oh", features a host of Big Battel luminaries in issue #109 including Dr. Cube, Referee Jing, Napalean, Sky Deviler, Mota Naru, and more. Pick up your copy of Figure King #109 on newstands right now, and check out more of Nawoki's work on his website, nawosan.com.

Seeking Slogans

The Kaiju slogan contest is still in full effect and we already have some awesome entries - Shane suggested "Squash This!" for Team Space Bug, Steve M. offered "Evil... It's So Bad" for Cube's Posse, and Eric K. has perhaps the best entry so far for the Human Co-Stars - "PLEASE DON'T CRUSH US!". While these and the rest of the current entries are strong contenders, we're sure that you can top them. Email your proposed slogans for each of the Kaiju factions to submit@kaiju.com.

The best slogan will win a signed, limited-edition copy of this brand new large-format Kaiju 2007 Super Deform print by Vinnie Arnone. This con-exclusive features the entire current Kaiju roster and will only be available at APE in San Francisco and Anime Boston 2007 (sorry Kaiju Mall!). So get your entry in quick - the contest cut-off is April 1st, 2007.

The Big Board Answers

Last week's "Question of the Week" posed this head scratcher: "What does Kaiju 3:14 say?" While the staff of Kaiju.com has no idea what it says, the posters on the Big Board were full of answers:

  • Bothead: "Damn, I missed my lunch"
  • Harlequin: "Anna Dramina, oh don't you cry for me, 'cause I come from Xertoid with a banjo on my knee."
  • comicgeekelly: "Kaiju 3:14 says I just kicked your @$$"
  • Pteroid: "I just brough the danger."
  • Phantom: "And then they decided to steal Pi."
  • monstermaniac: "another day without More Better Fighto Released"
  • RUNEE: "Danger Can Happen"
  • Nashida: "The Commish likes Pie"

Kaiju Con Screenings

Two more stops (Anime Boston and APE) have been added to this year's Kaiju Anime Con World Tour. Visitors to each of these cons will be treated to a sneak preview of the upcoming More Better Fighto DVD:

  • March 31 at Chibi Fest in Las Vegas, NV
  • April 20-22 at Anime Boston in Boston MA
  • April 21-22 at APE, San Francisco CA
  • May 5-6 at SyndiCon 2007 in Valparaiso, IN

The Kaiju Anime Club is growing fast, and we're always looking for new member clubs. If your club is interested in joining, please sign up today, or email eric@kaiju.com for more info.

Question of the Week

Who watches the Watchmen?

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