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Kaiju Big Battel
Kaiju Big Battel: The Pilot Poster

Kaiju Big Battel: The Pilot

Breaking Battel News!

The rumors are true - Kaiju Big Battel is returning to Avalon Boston on February 21st for Kaiju Big Battel: The Pilot. This full-fledged Big Battel will be filmed for an upcoming television pilot, and you can bet the Heroes, Dr. Cube's Posse, Team Space Bug, and the Rogues will be pulling out all the stops for this monumental television taping. You can be a part of TV history too - get your tickets to this milestone Big Battel event today!

Kaiju Big Battel: The Pilot
With musical guests Peelander-Z
When: Wednesday, February 21st, 2007. Doors at 7:00pm; Show at 8:00pm
Where: Avalon Boston, 15 Lansdowne St. Boston, MA
Tickets: Available at ticketmaster.com and all Ticketmaster locations.
All Ages. $15.25

More info on this Big, Big Big Battel coming later this week...

2007 - Year of the Chicken?

The past year was a rough one for the Kaiju Heroes. The Heroic ranks were thinned by murder (Pablo Plantain, RIP) and treachery (Silver Potato) at Someone Must Die!, by defections both voluntary (Super Wrong) and involuntary (Dusto Bunny), and just by plain old flunking out (Hero Intern In Training). Now a tiny core of Battel-hardened Heroes must defend against the onslaught of evil led by Dr. Cube's Posse and Team Space Bug. It's like that graphic novel/movie 300, but with fewer loin cloths.

There is however, a secret hidden hope that lives, metaphorically, deep down in the heart of every Hero supporter, and, literally, in a beach-front trailer in Waikiki. His name is Tad Bradley Hawaiian Paddler, and he has already put Cube's Posse on notice. In a recent statement, the newest Hero laid down the gauntlet to the evilest of evildoers - "Brah, I've been long bored with Dr. Cube, so now I've got to lay him out with my long board, dude."

Will Tad's "Chicken Crazy" Kung-Fu style be the saving grace of the depleted Hero community? We can only hope, but if this brand new Bonus Bideo - Tad Bradley Hawaiian Paddler vs Giii the Space Pirate is any indication, Tad has the chops to rip a curl right in the face of Kaiju's nastiest baddies.

Cube Gets Sweaty

After selling out of his popular zip up hoodie, Dr. Cube is proud to offer an all new pullover hooded sweatshirt. The classic Cube and crossbones logo is flanked by "Kaiju" kanji on a high-quality black pullover hooded sweatshirt from Continental. Please note, these sweatshirts run small. Available in size medium, large, and x-large. This future classic Cube design is also available on a black t-shirt, also from Continental.

Ask the Commissioner

Dear Commish dude, Happy New Years! What do you think Dr. Cube will do in 2007?

-Andrew C.

Dear Andrew,

Dr. Cube will no doubt attempt to push the evil envelope and try to regain his spot at the top of the Big Battel. With the baby Space Bug in his clutches, as well as Kaiju's former number one Hero amongst his ranks, Cube is positioned to crush the wills of both the Heroes and Team Space Bug. However, I know that neither one of these teams will roll over and allow themselves to be defeated with out an awesome fight. I see not only a strong year for Dr. Cube's Posse, but for the Heroes and Team Space Bug as well. I'm sure 2007 will be marked by an intense power struggle within the Big Battel, and ultimately the Heroes will emerge victorius.

Your Friend,
Kaiju Commissioner

Ask the Commissioner II

Dear Commissioner of Incompetence,

One of my moles recently forwarded me an advance copy of your pathetic response to Andrew C.'s question about your's truely, Dr. Cube. It certainly must be frustrating to get question after question about the greatest mind in monster manipulaton, and barely a peep about your Hero zeroes, but is that an excuse to dodge such an excellent question? Of course not, you Austrio-goon! Since you can't even muster the intelligence to answer a question correctly, I will do it for you.

In 2007, my magnificient, unstoppable, indestructable Posse will accomplish the following:

  • Win Back What is Rightfully Ours - That canned ham, Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle has held our Championship Belt for far too long, especially now that he's all buddy-buddy with the Hero scum.
  • Turn-out the Powa - This whole "Look I have wings and fairy dust and I'm here to save the day!" routine is getting old. I think I'll have Hell Monkey pluck her wings, and then Napalean will crush her flat.
  • Be a Good Father - It's not easy being a single parent, unless you're the single best parent ever. In 2007 I will be raising my new baby Sky Deviler in my image. I can't wait to hear his first words, watch his first random act of violence, and witness his first kill.

  • Finish Off the Heroes - I almost left this off the list, since it's almost too easy, like stealing candy from a baby, then throwing the baby in the river, then setting the river on fire.
  • Plans and Schemes Your Puny Brains Could Never Comprehend - Let's be honest here, I probably lost you at "Schemes".
  • World Domination - Duh.

Well, now that I've done what you could not and given Andrew C.'s question a proper answer, I'm done here. Just to make sure you don't try to invalidate this "Ask the Commissioner" question on a technicality I'll finish by posing you this question - "How have you not been fired already, you sniveling, incompetent boob?"

Happy New Year Loser,
Dr. Cube

Do you have a real question for the Kaiju Commissioner? Email him at commissioner@kaiju.com.

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

Louden Escapes Death

Tragedy was narrowly averted this New Year's, when top Kaiju commentator Louden Noxious survived a drive-by stoning in New York City. Noxious, 39, was rolling in his zebra-striped limousine early Monday morning when a black van pulled up beside the stretch Hummer and pelted it with throwing stones. Three individuals, including Noxious, an unidentified women, and an unidentified Kaiju Hero, were stoned inside the limousine.

The Kaiju Regulatory Commission believes the stoning stemmed from an argument that broke out at a New York City karaoke club where Noxious and others were attending a New Year's Eve party. According to the KRC, the altercation broke out when a member of Louden's entourage had his Karaoke tune, "Sweet Child of Mine", secretly replaced with "Hooked on a Feeling" by a gang of Minion Militia members.

Louden is currently at home recovering from what a publicist called "stoning-related injuries", including bruises, scrapes, scuffs, and some light brain damage. He is expected to recover fully. The other occupants of the limousine suffered only minor injuries.

Intern Monster Mayhem

The Kaiju Commissioner is proud to welcome two new production assistants, Ben and Erin, to the Big Battel. Ben and Erin emerged victorious from a recent round of intern interviews, although they each lost a finger to the razor sharp beak of Vegetius when they drifted to close to the Kaiju HQ holding pen during the obstacle course portion of the interview. Don't worry - it was just their pinkies, and Sentai Jin is already hard at work fashioning some new bionic robo-fingers.

Think, you got what it takes to protect the world from giant city-crushing monsters, and possibly become a cyborg? Then the Kaiju Commissioner wants you! Video, web, and design Interns wanted now. Check out the Kaiju Jobs page for full descriptions.

Upcoming Anime Con Screenings

The Kaiju Anime Con world tour continues with sneak peak screenings of the upcoming More Better Fighto DVD at the following cons this winter/ spring:

  • December 30 at Chibi-Pa in West Palm Beach, FL
  • March 2-3 at Nohcon in Buffalo, NY
  • March 17-18 at Momocon in Atlanta, GA
  • March 31 at Chibi Fest in Las Vegas, NV
  • May 5-6 at SyndiCon 2006 in Valpairso, IN

The Kaiju Anime Club is growing fast, and we're always looking for new member clubs. If your club is interested in joining, please sign up today, or email eric@kaiju.com for more info.

Vote for the Top Kaiju YouTube Video of '06

There's still time to vote for your favorite Kaiju YouTube video of 2006. Email your vote and a short explanation to submit@kaiju.com by Jan 8th and you'll be entered to win a rare, long out of print, VHS copy of Video Buffet. The following videos are up for the award:

Question of the Week

How's the DVD end?

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