Commissioner Down!

Kaiju in 3-D Commentary

You probably have plenty of questions lingering from Kaiju in 3-D that couldn't have possibly been answered from the quick results we posted earlier, but don't worry; we've got something to help you out. Yes, it's the Kaiju in 3-D Show Commentary!

But that doesn't mean everything's been answered. There's still plenty to figure out in the wake of one of the bigger Kaiju shows in years. So you'll have to keep checking Kaiju.com for more as we try to get to the bottom of this.

Of course, if you joined the Official Facebook Group, you would've already found out about this commentary a few days early, because our peeps on Facebook get the real scoops. But if not, whatever; it's all good. You got your commentary today, so it's no big deal, right? But just between us, you should probably just go ahead and join the Facebook group anyway.

Uchu Chu Gets Uchu-Screwed

There were a few big winners coming out of Kaiju in 3-D, but there were a whole lot more losers in the end. Whether you like him or hate him, one has to admit that perhaps the Kaiju with the biggest gripe of them all is Uchu Chu the Space Bug. After being promised a main event title shot, one on one with no interference from Powa Ranjuru, and with no rematch in the future, Uchu ended up having the rug swept out from underneath him and left the Warsaw with nothing.

With Neo Teppen taken out of the mix early on and faced with a new opponent in Dr. Cube, Uchu still showed up to fight. And confronted even with the second threat of Kung Fu Chicken Noodle, Uchu still managed to hold his own. It wasn't until Dr. Cube's clone army, combined with the unexpected (but justified) interference of Powa Ranjuru, that the numbers game became simply too much to bear for Uchu.

Uchu Chu has stayed quiet since last Friday, and hasn't responded to any interview requests. "He hasn't been around very often, so I dunno what his deal is," said former college pal Yarsminko, who may have been drinking. "But, like, who's he gonna complain to? The Commissioner?" Yarsminko was later informed that the Commissioner was, in fact, dead. With a title shot nowhere in his future, until the unlikely event that Neo Teppen drops the belt any time soon, what's next for the Space Bug?

Question of the Week?

Wait, what's so special about next Wednesday?

Amigos Not Too Miffed About Lack of Title Shot

After months and months of buildup, leading to weeks and weeks of hard-fought battels, the Sea Amigos somehow found themselves on the outside looking in at Kaiju in 3-D, when RoBox inexplicably cancelled their Tandem Title Match in favor of a Dance Party with Super Wrong. Unibouzu and D.W. Cycloptopuss III had reason to complain, since winning the Double Danger Tandem Tournament had entitled them to a match with the Furious Furries, who went on to beat the stuffing out of Super Wrong instead.

But the Amigos aren't too upset; minutes after the match, the departed Kaiju Commissioner announced the secret Golden Treasure, and RoBox randomly assigned Cycloptopuss to hunt for the map! After a little bit of deception and a whole lot of luck, Cycloptopuss managed to steal the treasure map from under Dusto Bunny's nose, and now, the Sea Amigos are merely a treasure hunt away from uncovering untold riches!

"It certainly takes the sting off not getting our title shot," said Unibouzu. "Especially since after we find the treasure, we can just buy the belts anyway." Of course, that treasure is vital for the Kaiju Heroes, who could use the money to fix their growing financial problems, so if the Amigos are expecting an unobstructed treasure hunt, they've got another thing coming!