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Kaiju Big Battel
Tandem Tourney Finals!

It's the Final Countdown

Amigos Crush Dai Hachi Hachi in Finals

The Double Danger Tag Tandem Tournament is finally over, and what appeared to be one of the most unpredictable runs in history ended in perhaps the most predictable fashion possible, as Dai Hachi Hachi was decisively clobbered by the Sea Amigos in the finals.

Some Kaiju fans were perhaps hoping for a repeat of Call-Me-Kevin's feat from a year and a half ago, when the long-time loser miraculously won the Kaiju Championship after backing his way through the tournament, much like Dai Hachi Hachi. Of course, back then, Call-Me-Kevin couldn't do it alone; he had the help of his then-partners, Unibouzu and D.W. Cycloptopuss III. This time, however, Dai Hachi Hachi had no partner of his own to save him from the Sea Amigo assault.

With the 2009 Tourney in the books, the card for Kaiju in 3-D is set in stone. Kaiju Big Battels are always unpredictable, but RoBox has calculated a 97% probability that these matches will all go on as scheduled, with no unexpected, last-minute changes. With odds like that, we're putting our money on RoBox being right.

Kaiju in 3-D
With Musical Guests Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears
When: Fri, April 3rd, 8:00 PM
Where: Warsaw at the Polish National Home, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn, NY
Tickets: $20, available at Ticketmaster

Kaiju Facebook Group Launches

We know what you're thinking. Facebook? It's just a fad. It'll be replaced by some other social networking site by next year, possibly something called YouFace, which combines the broad scope of Facebook, the video-sharing environment of YouTube, and the poorly-designed interface of MySpace. But you know what? You're wrong. Dead wrong. Kaiju.com has done their homework, and after careful scientific experiments and projects, we've decided that Facebook is, in fact, here to stay.

We also know what you're thinking next. You're thinking, hey, I'm already a Fan of Kaiju on Facebook. Of course you are. We all are. But it's time to join the Official Kaiju Big Battel Facebook Group, too. Yes, that's right, even better than the product page, it's the official group! Get updates, check out pictures, share your thoughts on the wall, watch videos, read articles, untag those inappropriate photos of you from that party last weekend before your boss sees them, you name it! We here at Kaiju.com are still gonna keep doing our thing, but it never hurts to spread the wealth a little bit, either. So join today!

Mall Still Awesome

Spring has sprung, which means it's going to be t-shirt weather soon. Maybe in your neck of the woods, it already is. After all, we're reaching the end of March, which is supposed to go out like a lamb. And you're probably looking through your drawers, and you're seeing all these shirts that are too big for you now, because you've definitely lost some weight this winter. Great job, man, you look really good. I mean, not that you looked bad before, but you know what I mean. So hey, why don't you buy yourself some new shirts! Hey, what about the Kaiju Mall? We've got some sweet shirts in there. And don't stop there; buy the Kaiju in 3-D show poster while you're at it. And remember our awesome Vegetius sale from last week? Guess what? We're gonna keep it going for a little while longer! So check out the mall, and get to purchasing!

Soup Forgets Baby Sky Deviler's Birthday Twice

Kaiju fans all know the story of Baby Sky Deviler. The child of the original Sky Deviler was hatched at Shpadoinkelmania XVIII, but when the SDS-1 turned back the clock at the Boston Avalon (RIP), he was born again at the TV Pilot show a few months later.

The prophecy states that Baby Sky Deviler will someday be the greatest Kaiju fighter of them all, and as a result, control over him has become a hot issue in Kaiju. Sky Deviler was a member of Team Space Bug, but Dr. Cube instigated his hatching. Kung Fu Chicken Noodle, however, was the one who earned possession of the Baby, and he did it the way most child custody battles should be settled; in the Kaiju Big Ring. And while Soup appears to be doing a good job raising the Baby, he evidently isn't perfect; sources say Kung Fu Chicken Noodle has forgotten both of Baby Sky Deviler's birthdays.

Soup is not expected to attend Kaiju in 3-D, but Kaiju MC Louden Noxious has announced that KFCN will allow him (and a crack security team) to babysit Baby Sky Deviler for the evening, and Friday night's Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears performance will be part of a birthday celebration for the future Kaiju superstar. For this reason, and to assure yourself an even better view of the action, we recommend not being more than a minute late for the big show!

Buy More Better Fighto DVD!

Giii Attempts to Bribe RoBox

It's been only a few days since the announcement of the Mean 13 RoBox Rumble, but fans everywhere can't stop asking about the potential carnage about to be unleashed on the Warsaw. Who's in the Mean 13? What will the winner recieve? Why couldn't it have been fourteen through nineteen instead? The questions never stop, but one monster couldn't wait until April 3rd to find out.

Giii the Space Pirate was seen earlier this week offering a plate of delicious chocolate chip cookies to RoBox, in what appeared to be a bribe to ensure his spot in the upcoming Rumble. But the gesture may have backfired, since as we all know, RoBox loves cookies. RoBox scored the incident a Level 2 Nice Gesture, which significantly lowers Giii's Mean rating. Did Giii just cost himself a spot in the Rumble? There's only one way to find out! Come see us next Friday!

News and Notes

  • Kaiju Hero Powa Ranjuru issued an apology today to the family of deceased Hero Goldenrod, whom Powa mistakenly referred to as male earlier this week. "To be honest, I don't know if I ever talked to hi-- her" said Ranjuru. "I'm sure she was nice, but I don't think our paths ever crossed. And yeah, she wore a fashionable women's raincoat everywhere, but how was I supposed to tell the difference between that and a kimono?"
  • The New York Yankees have announced they have terminated the contract of RHP Dai Hachi Hachi after he failed to attend the last few weeks of Spring Training. The Creepy Crawler had been signed to a 5 year, $200 million contract last December after being mistaken for pitcher Ben Sheets in a hospital, but Cashman decided to cut his losses and get rid of the Space Bug castoff, especially after his incredible beatdown at the hands of the Sea Amigos this week. Since Dai Hachi Hachi failed to honor his contract by not showing up at all, the Yankees have no obligation to pay him anything. Experts theorize that DHH would've been better off if he "Zito'd" the Yankees, and just pitched poorly while still making lots of money.

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