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Kaiju Big Battel
Grudyin takes down the Prudential Building

The Grudyin Takes Out the Pru

Someone Must Die
Wrap Up

Kaiju Big Battel: Someone Must Die! was one the most eventful nights in Kaiju history. A beloved Hero were lost forever, a new champion was crowned, and a legendary Hero turned traitor. It was like a full soap opera season condensed into one explosive night, but with the silly make believe parts replaced by real life Kaiju monsters! For the full scoop on the evening's action read the new Kaiju Big Battel: Someone Must Die! commentary. It comes complete with highlights and meaningful insights into this monumental Battel, plus amazing full color photos by ace photog Jens Jorgensen.

Plus, if you were one of the unfortunate fans to miss on the live Battel PPV, you can also see the video higlights in the brand new Someone Must Die! Trailer

Minion Kit Spot Controversy

The Kaiju Regulatory Commission has been outraged by a new Minion Militia Kit commercial recently aired by Dr. Cube. The highly controversial Minion Militia Kits, which are limited to only 100 units and come complete with Minion mask and scrubs, have already been criticized for the glorification of the Pro-Cube lifestyle. Now, the KRC has filed a Kaiju court injunction in an attempt to halt the airing of the commercial. Christian Delano, a KBB product manager, agrees with the KRC's decision. "Not only is the commercial in poor taste and completely inappropriate for good natured Kaiju fans, but the spot also blatantly promotes Cube's evil cause."

Dr. Cube's ad agency did not return phone calls, but instead posted the 30-second Minion Militia Kit commercial on Kaiju's online Bideo page. The commercial is scheduled to air every day this summer on every public access station in every depressed rural community in the America for the next three months.

Funeral for a Hero

A closed casket funeral ceremony was held for the late Pablo Plantain last Sunday in his South American hometown. Thousands of Pablo's family, friends, and fans waited hours in the pouring rain to pay their respects, despite the Sock Puppet Dictator's official ban on public displays of grief. Notable attendees included George Clinton (of P-funk fame), Joseph Campbell, an Abe Lincoln impersonator, and the Kaiju Commissioner, who attended live via satillite. Pedro's entire revolutionary family capped the ceremony with a heart wrenching 21,000 gun salute. The reception that followed was a volatile emotional cocktail of grief, anguish, and anger that manifested in long speeches laced with words of respect and revenge.

Egg Rescued by Swarm

During the chaos of the Championship match at Someone Must Die!, the Swarm stole back Sky Deviler's egg from Dr. Cube's Posse. Sky Deviler's unhatched egg had been in Cube's possession since it was stolen from a fatally wounded Sky Deviler in a remote Scottish battlefield. Although, the Kaiju Commissioner had banned Uchu Chu from competing at Someone Must Die!, Uchu Chu ignored the ruling and assaulted Dr. Cube during his Battel. Using this diversion to occupy the Posse, The Swarm, led by Mung Wun, broke into Cube's not-so-secret, poorly guarded compound off the coast of Virginia. Mung Wun has reported that the egg is in good health and with the exception of two small cracks the egg appears to be unharmed. Team Space Bug celebrated the reunion with a Royal Jelly keg and Hawaiian style pig roast.

New Hero-in-Training

Following his win over Vegetius at Someone Must Die!, the Hero Intern has been officially promoted to a Hero-in-Training by the Kaiju Commissioner. The Hero-In-Training will continue his instruction under Kaiju's leading Hero, Neo Teppen. Kaiju analysts predict that the two Kaiju Heroes may develop into a Batman and Robin type of fighting duo. Further speculation suggests that Neo Teppen and the Hero-in-Training could fill the void left by the demise of Kaiju's greatest tagteam, Los Plantanos. Others however are skeptical, concerned that the Hero-In-Training might be getting a little too big for his metallic britches.

RoBox Saves Designer Toy Aisle

For everyone who has been crying for a Kaiju toy, you can now cry yourself to sleep with Kaiju's first ever designer plushie. These super-duper limited-edition RoBox Plushies by Carly Smith are too cute for words and too limited to last too long. These soft collectables measure 4"x7"x9" with 10" arms and are limited to a run of 30. At just $30 each these little RoBoxes wont last long. In fact, at press time, there were only 9 left in the Kaiju Mall.

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

Big Ups Kaiju-style

The Kaiju Commissioner would like to give a Big Battel thanks to all the Anime Boston 2006 staff and attendees - all the Kaiju had a great time, except for maybe Pablo and Pedro. Also, a Big thanks goes out to Robots Will Kill, Rockstar Games, Comicopia, and Line for providing the "wet t-shirt" giveaways at the Big Battel.

Fan Contest Photo

Send in your best Kaiju Big Battel digi-pics from Someone Must Die! and Anime Boston 2006 and you'll be entered to win Pablo Plantain's bloodied Anime Boston badge and an artist proof of the limited-edition Anime Boston show poster by Yoriko Shiraishi. In you are interested in one of the sweet prints, we have 8 in stock (out of 50) in the Kaiju Mall.

In related news, no one correctly guessed who would be killed at Someone Must Die! and therefore no one won last month's :Contest of Predicting Death for Prize"... but you are all still winners in the Commissioner's book.

Action Blast Update

This week's featured Kaiju Big Battel on G4 TV's Action Blast! are a bunch of re-runs. Sorry, kids. The good news is that Beav and Louden return to the studio next week to tape five brand new episodes.

Potato Joins Posse

The KRC released an official report which concluded that Silver Potato was in fact the killer of Pablo Plantain. The report also speculates that Silver Potato may have been brainwashed by Dr. Cube while held prisoner last year, and is now a card carrying member of Dr. Cube's Posse. The Kaiju Commissioner thinks that Potato can be saved and has called in several cult deprogramming experts to explore options for rescuing Potato from the clutches of Dr. Cube.

Question of the Week

Where's the next Big Battel?

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