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Kaiju Big Battel
Force Trooper Robo

The Force - No Mitochlorians Required

Force Robo Returns

The original Kaiju Hero, Force Trooper Robo, is returning to Kaiju Big Battel to participate in the upcoming Anime Boston Battel. Force Trooper has decided to come out of retirement to lend a hand to the floundering Heroic efforts to defeat Dr. Cube's Posse and Team Space Bug. Force Trooper has not fought in an official Battel in over eight years, but RoBox has volunteered to help the Heroic cyborg shake off his Big Ring rust, and get back into fighting mode. Kaiju analysts speculate that Atomic Trooper Robo may follow Force Trooper's lead and create a new retro Hero tag team in the near future.

Kaiju Big Battel at Anime Boston 2006
Who: Dr. Cube, Uchu Chu the Space Bug, Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle, Los Plantanos, Super Wrong, Shrooma Tango, The Apes of Wraths, Vegetius, Powa Ranjuru, RoBox, and more...
Where: Anime Boston 2006, Hynes Convention Center, Boston, MA
When: Friday May 26th
Tickets: http://www.animeboston.com/registration

Teppen Mentors Intern Hero

While Force Trooper Robo will be carrying the standard for the old guard at the Anime Boston Battel, the Hero Intern will repping for the next generation of Kaiju Heroes. After successfully training under American Beetle and defeating Call-Me-Kevin at the Xbox 360 Zero Hour Big Battel, the Hero Intern has now advanced to training under Kaiju's leading Hero, Neo Teppen. The Intern is looking forward to learning the finer skills of split jump kicks, 720 flips, and aerial face plants from the masterful Teppen. It remains to be seen if all this new training will translate into a Big Battel matchup at the upcoming live event at Anime Boston 2006, but the Kaiju Commissioner has requested he be ready for Battel just in case.

Cube Launched New Kids' Cereal

Dr. Cube, Kaiju's resident evil genius, announced plans this week to expand his World Domination efforts to include the cereal isle in your local supermarket. Cube's newest shadow corporation, Big Kid Bucks LTD, will begin producing its own line of Cube-branded kids' breakfast cereal. Minion Munchies will be the first cereal to hit store shelves this summer. Early taste-test and marketing results indicate that Minion Munchies are so delicious that they could easily qualify as "addictive." The FDA is investigating the habit-forming quality of the cereal, but Minion Munchies Marketing Director, Butchy Travis is confident the cereal will be "a smash hit" in the cereal isle. Provided Minion Munchies meet its sales goals, Cube Crunchers, Monster Smacks, and Mayhem Mini Face Bites will be added to waist-high cereal shelves across America by the end of the year.

Ask the Commissioner

Dear Kaiju Commissioner,

I like Kaiju a lot. I made my own fan site, but anyway, my older brother makes fun of me and harasses me for liking kaiju. Can you send Neo Teppen and Los Plantanos (AKA The Plantain Twins) to knock the crap out of him?

Thanks your biggest fan,

Dear Biggest Fan,

Your older brother sounds like he suffers from hideous acne and has no friends. Hopefully, he will learn to cope with his miserable life and leave you alone. If not, I will certainly send Neo Teppen and the Intern Hero to give him a nature wedgie complete with beach sand, acorns, and pine needles.

Your Friend,
The Kaiju Commissioner

Email your questions to commissioner@kaiju.com

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

Stuck Monster Pumps up Petroleum Price

Earlier this week Dr. Cube's mammoth monster Napalean was dispatched on a mission to extract some precious metals from deep within a cave in the mountains of Nepal. The towering terror was using her long neck to penetrate deep into the cave and dislodge the ore with her razor sharp horn, when a group of Maoist rebels set off a roadside bomb nearby, causing a catastrophic cave-in. Napalean's impenetrable hide protected her from injury, but she found herself pinned against the walls of the cave's mouth by a large boulder. With Napalean thoroughly stuck, Dr. Cube hatched an ingenious plan to free his large lady of destruction - he would slide her out of harms way on the world's biggest oil slick!

Cube's Minions fanned out across the globe and raided refineries, gas stations, and molotov cocktail bars. Billions of barrels were hauled up the mountainside and poured over, on, and under Napalean. Soon the biggest baddie in the Big Battel was able to slither her way out from the cave. One serious hosing-off later, Napalean was free and happy as a giant, 22-story tall clam. The same can't be said for commuters, truckers, and gasoline afficiandos however, who woke up the next morning to find oil prices had shot through the roof, thanks to Cube's petrol pilfering.

Work with Kaiju

The Kaiju Commissioner is proud to welcome Jen Hall as the newest web intern to Team Kaiju. There are a few remaining intern positions remaining. Want to intern at Kaiju this summer? Check out all the listings.

Question of the Week

When is the Minion Militia Kit going on sale?

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